Last updated 2:00 EST, 27 July
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All new posts asking about information already provided here will be removed and redirected here to reduce redundancy.

Release

As of 5:15 EST, the update has released on PS4, Xbox One, and PC.

3.4GB on PS4
3.2GB on Xbox One
2.9GB on Steam
2.6GB on Social Club.

On the note of releases... Some countries will not be able to access certain content from this update due to gambling laws. Thankfully though, players from these countries will still be allowed to download the update in general.

Money for Diamond Casino

For ways to make money to afford the new DLC content, along with methods to make an empty lobby to do CEO/MC work, check the Mega Guide.
Tips

You only need $50,000 to register as a VIP! If you have at least that much, you can register as a VIP for 4 hours and get access to VIP missions (which can be done in an invite only session), giving you a lucrative way to save up.
If you own both a crate warehouse and vehicle warehouse, you could use them together to make more money overtime than you could by using either exclusively. Use your sourcing/exports between crate pickups and sales, and you'll be getting the best of both worlds, gaining from the postive money-making aspects of both.

Content and Prices

Content that has initially released with the update.

Southern San Andreas Super Autos

Weeny Issi Sport - $897,000
Vapid Caracara 4x4 - $875,000

Legendary Motorsport

Annis S80RR: $2.6million
Enus Paragon R: $905,000
Obey 8F Drafter: $718,000
Truffade Thrax: $2.3million

Penthouses

Cash Pad: $1.5million
Party Penthouse: $3.78million
High Roller: $6.5million
"Design Your Own": $1.5million

Penthouse Customizations

Colour options: $215,000 or $258,500
Pattern options: $92,000 - $210,000

Penthouse Addons

Lounge Area: $400,000
Media Room: $500,000
Spa: $800,000
Bar and Party Hub: $700,000
Private Dealer: $1.1million
Office: $200,000
Extra Bedroom: $200,000
Garage: $800,000

Gambling

As this is a Casino-centric update, there's plenty of ways to gamble away your hard-grinded money.
The gambling in this game centers around a new form of currency, called Chips. These chips are pretty much like real-world gambling chips, with a one-to-one dollar value, except you keep your chips when you leave the casino. Chips are an actual currency in GTA Online, as they can be used to purchase exclusive items from a shop inside the casino, along with being used to bet with when playing the Gambling Games, listed below

Slot Machines: There's plenty of options to choose from, but they all perform the same way. Spend some chips, and let the RNG decide whether or not you earn anything from it.
Blackjack: Casino style blackjack with up to four simultaneous players, all of which play against the dealer. Anyone who beats the dealer individually wins, anyone who the dealer beats individually loses, and if the dealer gets Blackjack (an Ace and 10/face-card), everyone immediately loses. Assuming your initial hand isn't a Blackjack, you have the option of doubling-down, which doubles your initial bet with the caveat of only being able to hit once.
Poker: Three-card poker. You make your bets, check your hand, and similar to Blackjack, each player wins if their hand is better than the dealer's, and the dealer beats whoever has a worse hand than him. While there is no option to double-down, how much you win does depend on how good of a hand you have. The better your hand, the more you win. Also, while you can fold your hand, you lose your initial bet anyway.
Horse Racing: Pretty much standard horse racing bettering. You choose a horse, you put your money down, and if you bet correctly, you get double the amount you bet in return. Otherwise, you just lose the amount you bet.

To gain more chips, there is a counter inside the casino where you can buy them, however you are limited in how many you can buy per day (real-world 24 hours). As standard, you can buy a maximum of 20,000 chips per day, but if you own a penthouse of any tier, you can buy up to 50,000 chips per day. Chips can also be traded in for money, but there does not appear to be a limit on this. No matter how many chips you win from gambling, it appears that you can trade them all in at once for the equivalent dollar value.
Lastly, there is the Wheel. It's a roulette wheel that you can only spin once per day, which costs $500 per spin. There are twenty reward slots, and since some rewards are in multiple slots, they have greater chances of being selected. The biggest note about this wheel however is that there is one slot in which you can win a free car! What makes this so significant is that since the car takes a 1/20 slot on the wheel, that means you still have a 5% chance of winning a free high-value vehicle! Compared to most online games, that's pretty much the most generous RNG you can get.

Business and Missions

coming soon

FAQ

Are there any differences between the penthouses
For once, yes! Well, technically... they're the same basic property layout, but each option gives you different addon options.

The Cash Pad: The basic Penthouse with no property addons available . You cannot purchase a garage, extra bedroom, lounge, etc. with the Cash Pad. You can, however, purchase penthouse customizations (colour and wall patterns).
The Party Penthouse: Gives you certain of the addon options: the main Penthouse, the Extra Bedroom, the Lounge Area, the Spa, and the Bar and Party Hub. You are locked to these options, no more, no less.
The High Roller: Gives you all of the property addons as standard, and the most expensive penthouse customization options... this means that you cannot choose your own colour and wall patterns with this version.
The "Design Your Own": ...What should be the standard option. It gives you the basic penthouse and allows you to choose which addons and customizations you want, with an extra cost for each one, of course. Just get this one. You can also renovate this option later, allowing you to purchase more addons and change your customizations later.

What do the Penthouse Addons do?

Lounge Area: Allows you to purchase the other Penthouse Addons (except for the Extra Bedroom and Garage, which are the only items addons that can be purchased without a Lounge).
Media Room: You know the cinemas around Los Santos? The ones that play a few 5 minute animated films on repeat? That, but in a Penthouse.
Spa: Gives you access to a hot tub and a Personal Stylist. The Stylist's services are the same as the ones spread around Los Santos (hair, contacts, and make up), but they're all free.
Bar and Party Hub: Allows you to consume drinks that instantly intoxicate your character, along with access to special arcade games that aren't available anywhere else in the game.
Private Dealer: Allows you to play gambling games in your penthouse.
Office: Adds a standard computer, a Gun Locker, and a money vault (don't get excited, it's just aesthetic).
Extra Bedroom: Bedrooms in owned properties in GTA Online are used as spawn points, so why can you pay to have an extra one? Because you can now allow a friend of yours to claim it! The Extra Bedroom allows a friend of yours to use your penthouse as a spawn apparently, though the exact implementation of this is not completely clear.
Garage: Access to the Penthouse's garage bay.

How do I get the armored car?

To recieve the Enus Paragon R (Armoured), you have to complete the Diamond Casino's mission series, which you must own a penthouse to access. Once of the missions are complete, you'll be given the vehicle for free! But remember, it's uninsured and you only get it once, so immediately go into passive mode and take it to the nearest Los Santos Customs to insure it, or else you could lose the vehicle permanently.

Passive Mode

Good news, passive mode has been fixed!

Passive Mode can now no longer be active when using a weaponized vehicle

A Passive Mode cooldown of 2 minutes is now in place for players who have just killed another player

Players now must wait 5 minutes before they can activate Passive Mode again after disabling it

Players now must wait 30 seconds before they can disable Passive Mode after activating it

These changes make is so that grievers can no longer abuse passive mode, or at least no where near as easily. If you start to get the upper-hand on a griefer and destroy whatever death-machine they're using to troll you, or if you confront them in a death-machine of your own, they can't abuse Passive Mode to try to get the upper-hand on you!

Solo Session

Check the Mega Guide for ways to push yourself into a public Online session with no one else in it. Keep in mind that some missions and abilities are unavailable if there's no one else with you though!

Bugs and Glitches

Apparently on PS4 and Xbox One, you must have full size of GTA V available to download the update, so if you have less than ~60GB free, you may have trouble downloading the update. This does not mean that the entire game is re-downloaded, it just means that the update may not download if you don't have that much space available.

Credits

Special Thanks: u/Rebored_Warrior - Sent me the official patch notes link!

u/LordMcze - Information on countries that restrict players from gambling functions.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure OC Tournament #5: Round 1 Match 12 Alexis and Cybil Vs Admiral Pineapples and Rudolph

“届けて, 切なさには名前をつけようか ‘Snow halation!’”
The harpoon lodged itself into the Ocean Soul’s chest following a powerful toss from Pork Soda, the beast desperately trying to hit the tether to destroy it and release the harpoon, to no avail. The Ocean Soul had underestimated its opponents, who were currently singing some sort of song, perhaps a sort of war cry, meant to display their superior strength.
“想いが重なるまで待てずに, 悔しいけど好きって純情”
It had to do something! It released the Calamus Root in store within its mouth, ready to spit it out, before Sayonara Kodoku picked the Ocean Soul up, shut its mouth tight, and tossed it over to Pork Soda. With a thrust of its fingers, the porcine stand pierced the Ocean Soul’s eyes, blinding it.
Then, the two stands rushed at it, sending forwards a barrage of blows, breaking bones, claws, and disorientating it, before getting ready for a finisher. Pork Soda picked the Ocean Soul up by its tail and began spinning around, the rapid movement disorientating the fish and sending it closer and closer to its doom.
No, no! It couldn’t let this be! The Ocean Soul was a hunter, and even if its prey had gotten a leg up on it this time, it wasn’t going to give up! It could barely remain conscious under the pressure as the porcine stand spun it around, its already severe wounds getting exacerbated, but it had to do something!
Just one shot! Just one precise shot and it could use the opportunity to escape, to recover! The porcine stand was spinning it around by its tail, so the Ocean Soul could calculate the stand’s position! It just needed to regain its bearings, focus on getting a shot aimed, and it could use its spit to-
SLAM!
With a brutal impact, the Ocean Soul was slammed into a nearby rock. It felt itself sinking in the water as the two stands approached it, its imminent doom coming closer and closer with every movement they made.
It needed to escape, but it couldn’t bring itself to move. The two stands made their way towards it, floating above the ground as they loomed over the barely conscious beast.
Was this going to be it for the Ocean Soul?
“微熱の中ためらってもダメだね, 飛び込む勇気に賛成まもなく start!”
Like hell it was.
Gathering the little remaining energy it had, the Ocean Soul spat out the Calamus Root stored within its mouth, mixed with its saliva. Hitting the ground underneath the two stands, two long spikes quickly sprouted out of it and towards their bodies.
Though Sayonara Kodoku’s tough skin didn’t get pierced, the force of the growing spike sent it flying into the air, incapacitating it, if only for a moment. Meanwhile, Pork Soda wasn’t as lucky as it, the spike piercing through the left side of its body, tearing through its left leg and shoulder. The Ocean Soul couldn’t hear anything from underwater, but it was sure that its user was reeling in pain right about now.
Using the remainder of its energy, the Ocean Soul bolted away, desperately trying to remain conscious as it swam away from what it once considered its prey. It didn’t even look backwards, fearing that doing so would give its opponents the time they needed to finish it off for good. It didn’t even keep track of how far it swam, or for how long its opponents had chased it, or if they had done so at all. Its body was searing in pain, broken bones and wounds all over it.
Eventually, it couldn’t bring itself to swim any further, losing consciousness and sinking down into the ocean, not even the searing pain keeping it awake as it began to rest.
The Ocean Soul had lost, but this wasn’t the end of the beast. Though barely, it had managed to escape this encounter with its life.
The results are in for Match 10. The winner is…
‘Agnes’ Bayley and Prince Cosmo, with a score of 80 to the Ocean Soul’s 60!

Category	Winner	Point Totals	Comments
Popularity	Players	25-5	The word of the voterbase was clear: the vast majority felt that the Ocean Soul was handily defeated by the players.
Quality	Players	23-22	Reasoning
JoJolity	Ocean Soul	22-23	Reasoning
Conduct	Tie	10-10

“AAAAGH! GODDAMIT, STUPID FUCKING FISH!!” Agnes screamed in pain while clutching his leg, body strewn onto the nearest island, carried by Sayonara Kodoku. “IT STABBED THROUGH MY GODDAMN LEG!! FROM THE FOOT, TO MY WAIST, TO MY FUCKING SHOULDER! AAARGH, DAMMIT, WHERE’S JENNY WHEN YOU NEED HER!!”
“You should be happy we got away with our lives. The Ocean Soul isn’t going to come finish us off any time soon after what we did to it.”
“OH, REAL RICH COMING FROM THE ONE WHO DIDN’T GET STABBED IN THE FUCKING LEG BY THAT MONSTER. DO YOU WANT ME TO STAB YOU AS WELL SO YOU CAN SEE HOW IT FEELS?!” Agnes started rummaging around his surroundings with his right hand, searching for a sharp object to use for his “demonstration”.
“Frankly, you deserve it. Don’t forget that you are the cause for this all. Were it not for your foolishness, Webb would still be alive, and this would not have happened to you.” Cosmo chided.
“PFFF- WHATEVER!” In between his heavy breathing and pained cries, Agnes let out an audible sigh. “Fffffuck this, I’m gonna check my phone to see if there’s any connection here so that we can get the hell out of this place ASAP!” Agnes picked up his phone and pulled it up, taking a look at it.
“That will not be necessary. There is no connection here anyways, and I am certain that a helicopter has been sent out to retrieve us, or at the very least ascertain what might have happened to-” “Shut up, I’m getting a message from Cairo. ‘Don’t worry, Agnes, we have sent your location over to Vitus, and help should arrive in about fifteen minutes.’” Agnes looked at his phone in confusion. “Vitus? Who’s that asshole?”
“Vitus is the man who sent the helicopters out. The one which you indirectly crashed. Nonetheless, let me see that - I have a hard time believing that your phone is capable of picking up a signal when we’re so far away from any cellular towers.”
“And why should I care about what you believe, huh? Here, take a look for yourself!” Agnes shoved the phone in front of Cosmo's face, the dog looking intently at it and seeing… nothing beyond a simple homescreen. “What is this supposed to be. This is your phone’s home screen, and though that horrendous chimera at its center is an affront to anything and everything I believe in, there is no notification here. Could it be that you are perhaps hallucinating from the pain?”
“Wh- you can’t see it?! Don’t fuck with me!” Looking at the dog’s deadpan expression, Agnes could tell that that wasn’t the case. He looked over at the phone, spotting it right there, as clear as day - a notification for an sms from Cairo themselves, containing what he read out loud! “Fuck you, I’m not hallucinating! If anything, you are!”
Cosmo was about to retort, when he spotted something over the distance - a sailboat. It was old and decrepit, seemingly having gone through significant damage and yet still remaining intact, somehow. It clearly didn’t belong to Vitus, and likely wasn’t Cairo’s either. On the boat, he saw a silhouette of a haggard man, but the distance meant that he couldn’t exactly tell exactly what he looked like.
“Someone is coming.”
It wouldn’t be much longer before Agnes and Cosmo were able to get back onland, learn what terrible things they’d missed, even if they still had a wait and a talk ahead of them. Left to nurse grievous wounds, this seaborne menace has seen this chapter of aggression momentarily closed, but further inland, the waters of a laundromat are being braved by a time traveler and a woman in chains.
Scenario:
Sound’s Garden Eastern Strip - A Golden Limousine
The evening was beginning to set in, the lights of the islands of the area beginning to flash on and dot the sky as two women rode through the city, looking out through the windows as they relaxed in luxury. Cybil Antoine was one to travel in style, and now, with a companion in tow, was no exception.
“A strip that absolutely comes alive at night… Makes me feel almost nostalgic for Vegas,” her redheaded travel companion mused as she looked out, “speakin’ of which… you ever play anything like that, Cyby? Cards, slots, so on. We could try Heartache Casino, maybe, if we have time sometime… I bet you’d just have to throw your name around to get up on its higher floors.”
“It’s Cybil,” the wealthy woman emphasized, with an exhaustion begotten by this having been far from the first time, “or Miss Antoine… Either way, I am not a ‘Cyby.’ Get it right next time, alright?”
“Right, yeah, I know you’ve told me… I’m just a nicknamer by heart. Cross my heart, though! It won’t happen again!” Alexis Williams seemed… As serious as she could get about something like that, as curiously carefree, even devil-may-care, as the performer could get.
“Commit it to memory, then. Despite how much a fool you can act, I’m sure you know how much I had to pull to get you onto this stage.”
“Believe me, I do appreciate it!” Alexis answered, focus now turned away from the topic of gambling and onto that. “Putting on a show at one of the biggest stages in Los Fortuna, bigger than anything I’ve done before… I know our group has had some bad luck lately, with Bucket causing that trouble down at the fish market, and how down on herself Leo has been since that dumb show she said she got roped into, but we’re still the freakin’ Judecca Highrollers, right? I want to show the world that, and from their box, I want to show the rest of our team that we’ve got no better option than to face it all with a grin.”
“How very like you,” Cybil answered, neutral in her tone, careful not to betray the affection in such a statement as she pondered their current status, where they would be playing.
Alexis wouldn’t be headlining, unfortunately, though admittedly, her act wasn’t the sort of thing that did that anyway. Rather, a certain piece of immensely beloved local talent, a rocking performer who went by TD/MD, would be having her play immediately before her at the Alexander Dickinson Amphitheater, just a drive over a rapidly approaching bridge away. Cybil had been a little annoyed that one of her statues had been overshadowed by a plane crashing near it, not to mention had a desire to spread further the local influence of their team, and so she had arranged with the heads of the entertainment industry of Los Fortuna to see to it that her personal favorite performer among the allies and associates she’d made was onstage at the best possible place for a person wanting to be noticed.
She curled her lips at a cell phone which found its way to its hand, then, narrowing her eyes at its screen. “No word back from your backing band… Where are they? How inconsiderate not to send word on this, especially at how that Mr. Sins recommended them so glowingly.”
“I’m sure they’ll show,” Alexis answered, “and if not… We can make do, can’t we?”
“Of course,” Cybil answered, only to have her eye finally drawn back out the window by the sight of a vehicle which had pulled into the lane directly next to theirs as their limousine crossed the bridge.
Another golden limousine was directly next to them now, this one almost pointedly bigger, longer, more decked out in jewelry, and it seemed to be headed exactly the same way. Cybil, rather than confused or alarmed at the coincidence, simply thought aloud, “that would probably be Mr. Sins… Speak of the devil.”
“Amazing how quickly his casino recovered from nearly burning down…” Alexis mused aloud. “I heard that one of the people who trashed it sent him to the hospital, too.”
“An overreaction I’m certain, from what I know about the man. Absolutely terrified of a little pain, a little elbow grease… I’m not one to gossip, but I can’t help but wonder how a man like him even managed to become so prominent, so consistently successful.”
“Right,” Alexis answered, smirking and putting her finger up to her lips, “I won’t spread that around, then. I know how to schmooze with that type if the need arises.”
Los Fortuna Canals - The SS Sledge Sister
Admiral Pineapples was more comfortable on his own boat, but as far as the fleet of the Masters of Funky Action went, there was no real reason to send out more than one boat for this right now.
“Man, I can’t believe nobody else is ridin’ with me,” his companion, Rudolf Pavlova, said after downing an entire bottle of water in a single gulp, on the tail end of an hourlong keytar solo. “The rest of the Masters better at least make it to the Alexander! It’d really bum me out harder than when Wrenn shot me down if none a’them made it!”
Sorry, but I’m really more the headlining type! Playing second-fiddle to a man in a speedo opening for some local star sounds fun and all, but, I’d totally just overshadow them, I bet! So I should really probably stay out of it! That sentence, clear in its passive-aggressive scathingness, had put Wrenn Aflight’s declining of this gig pretty succinctly. As the man more or less everybody on the team could tolerate, listen to, and generally have a good time with, Admiral had been tasked with asking the other star performer of the team to join Rudolf on the gig he’d accepted opening up for locally beloved rock star and all-around idol TD/MD.
Not wanting to break Rudolf’s heart, he more or less told him the short version, ‘he couldn’t make it,’ and then volunteered his own services for the younger man. “You won’t be out there with none of your allies, though, Nureyev! For I, Admiral Pineapples, will aid you in coordinating every moment of your work! This will be one of the worthiest usages of my tactical mind in a long time, I’m sure!”
“I hope you’ve gotten those hour-long solos out of your system now, Nureyev,” Pineapples warned with an amused, lax tone, “you’re only going to have thirty minutes onstage before the headliner has to get ready, and there’ll be trouble if you bleed into that.”
“I know, I know,” Rudolf answered, casually, as he slipped into an open-chested bathrobe mainly meant to function as the legal requirement of public decency until it was time to perform, “I’m not one to step on anyone’s toes, let alone the star of the show. Live and let live, yeah?”
“I’m curious, though, and you never told me…” The Admiral asked, cracking open a beverage of his own and taking a sip, “how did you manage to get such a part as this in the first place?”
“Oh, that’s simple!” Rudolf said, the thought to answer having simply not occurred to him.
A few weeks ago - A beach in the Waterfront District.
“Alright! Thank you, Los Fortuna! I’m here all day, and all night, and all tomorrow too, baby! Party never stops!” Rudolf had just finished the latest of his performances to a small crowd of beachgoers, shredding through the end of his one-man keytar rendition of 2112 and transitioning into a truly epic medley of the extended Family Guy, American Dad, and Cleveland Show OPs.
As the crowd dispersed, a corporate suit-looking type of guy, bronze-skinned with neatly-groomed hair, remained, eyeing his keytar curiously and smiling artificially. “That was an excellent show, Mr… Pavlova, I think it was? You have such an undeniable energy about you that I can see when I lay eyes upon you… You’ve star material.”
“Am I being poached?” Rudolf asked, tilting his head, “‘cuz I assure you, I am a free agent! Not about to be scooped up by some label and forced to chill out the party churnin’ out music I don’t feel in my soul.”
“Nothing so abrupt, no… I’m a Manager, representing TD/MD. You can call me Thutmose. Anyway, she has a concert approaching rapidly, and we’re struggling and scrambling to find local, new talent and performers to open for her. We’ve managed to secure a lot of artists already, but the most important spot… Playing right before her… That, still, we have a particular need for, and I think you would serve it perfectly.”
“So I accepted!” In the present day, Rudolf finished, “why not, yeah? I can spread the party to tens of thousands at one of the biggest venues in town!”
“Scouted on the street, hm… That’s awfully lucky.” Something about this struck Admiral as odd, but he supposed it was all the more reason it was good he was backing his friend and ally up. He had a strong hunch there was more to it than appeared.
Rudolf’s party yacht would disembark soon, ported on the central-most island of the places which made up Sound’s Garden, and the party would make their way forward from there.
Sound’s Garden West Side - Outside the Alexander Dickinson Amphitheater
At the same time, a self-important first step was taken out of a pair of golden limousines, one a heel clacking first out of it and a short, stocky woman in pinstripe emerging, the other dress shoes leading up to a tall, lean man in a gold and yellow tux, grinning and running a hand through his slicked-back hair.
Cybil Antoine hadn’t had the “pleasure” of a personal conversation with Tigran Sins before, but had happened to overhear some of him during her meeting with that Thutmose man, and then and there, she had known everything about him, and knew that she had already had the displeasure of knowing dozens of men like him.
Still, though, one needed to be cordial in times like this, so as Alexis came out behind her, and a very strongly built-looking, mean-looking man with brown hair and a nice vest, attached to the lapel of which was a Heartache Casino brooch (a bouncer? A bodyguard?) stood by Tigran waiting to see what he wanted or what he did, she approached the man who dared to try and be more golden than her Stand. “Mr. Sins, I believe… I believe we’ve crossed paths, briefly, but we didn’t really have a chance to speak.”
The man tensed a bit, only to relax slightly again when he saw that Cybil intended only to speak. “Cybil Antoine, right? I’ve heard you’ve been making a hell of a lot of waves around town lately, so I must say I’m excited to meet you too.” He looked back past her, towards Alexis standing and stretching outside of her team’s limo. “Would that be your star you’ve got going on? Certainly she’s got charm.”
“Hi, right in front of you,” Alexis answered, teasingly passive-aggressively waving, “yeah, I’m going up before TD/MD.”
“She’s a very important star around here, you know… So you’d better put on a show that leaves them wanting for more of the best.” Tigran’s attendant spoke, then, sounding dead serious as he looked them over. “A lot of people have come here just for this, just for her sake… It is completely imperative you keep that in mind.”
Tigran simply nodded, concurring, “couldn’t have said it better myself, Fox.”
Shortly after that, the pairs went their separate ways, shifting through VIP areas of the area of the main structure of the amphitheater, series of comfortably shielded stadium halls that it was.
“Still no sign of the band… Still no word from them either. I’m cross now.”
Alexis, then, stopped in her trail, looking at a schedule which had been printed out and emblazoned upon a green room wall. “Uh, Cybil, you’re gonna wanna take a look at this.”
“Hm?” Cybil raised an eyebrow, turning to face what her partner was pointing at, and then glared again. “Who the hell is Nureyev, and why are they listed at the same time as you?”
“There’s gotta be some kinda mixup or somethin’, man… I know about this ‘Alexis Williams’ it talks about, and hear she’s a Vegas Performer, damn fine one at that who can really strut her stuff. But we ain’t in Vegas at all, so what gives?” Rudolf himself was gesturing at a printout version of much the same piece of programming, he and Admiral Pineapples having wandered much the same series of halls.
“Hrm…” Admiral, now, took a look at the sheet himself, combing over the names before Rudolf on the list and speaking names aloud. “‘Arancini,’ ‘Tenacious-er E,’ ‘Guy and the Fieris’ Heavy Metal Barbershop Quarter,’ all as scheduled… What the hell? Yeah. We’re the only acts double-booked like this, and you say you don’t know this woman personally?”
“Not in the slightest,” Rudolf said, “never laid personal eyes upon her! So maybe there’s a typo, yeah… I know! We could track down Thutmose! But, uh… Where the hell’s Thutmose right now?”
A distorted voice shout-whispered, “I heard that he was visiting TD/MD’s green room.”
“Huh? Oh, thanks!” Rudolf accepted that advice uncritically, beginning to make his way, but Pineapples looked, at least, in the direction it came from, seeing then flashes of a short-looking person in a maroon turban, face bandaged but mouth section bulging with something hidden underneath, and a pair of aviator goggles, as well as a tunic, trousers, and many bulky scarves adorned in the forms of climbing stick figures.
Looking at the man, Pineapples couldn’t help but feel suspicious, but hell, there was a lot shady going on here. “Yes, thank you, Mister… Who am I thanking?”
“No,” the figure answered dismissively, “think little of it… I’m just another interested party watching the show. If there’s confusion, then, I want to see it resolved fast! If you’ll excuse me, though, I need to make my way to my box…”
“Strange man…” Pineapples shook his head, not wanting to leave Rudolf alone to deal with this strange situation. He knew from hearsay and rumor that there were some truly dangerous things lurking in the bowels of Sound’s Garden, and Rudolf, more heart than head, was bound to be barreling into it.
Sound’s Garden - The largest and nicest green room in the halls of the Alexander Dickinson Amphitheater.
Metra Doria sat before a makeup chair as assistants fussed and fussed with her hair, her face, her clothes, occasionally being met with polite thanks, compliments, or idle chit-chat, representing a sort of familiarity the team had had with the pale, short-dark-haired girl with a single blue streak through her front left locks. She stared at her own dressed-up eyes in the mirror, one silver, one blue and at once black-striped through the iris. As she sat here, initially clad pretty casually and low-key, she was Metra, but as the outfit she had selected was put together, she would become TD/MD.
She was being cordial before now, but all of the small talk had ended as soon as her manager came into the scene, knocking, being invited to come in, and then doing so.
“How’s the show going, Thutmose? I wish I could see Guy and the Fieris do their thing, but… Makeup, I swear.”
“There’s… People insisting upon speaking, Metra. They’re performers, the ones before you, and they seem annoyed. I tried to shoo them away and tell them to work it out, but that only incensed the old-timers with them, and now they want to speak to you. I tried telling them it was a waste of your time, but-”
“This close to going on?” Metra narrowed her eyes at the reflected form of her manager. Always, it was one thing after another with this guy. Though most of the time, one might assume there was something not worth it going on here, she knew Thutmose well enough to know there might be problems. She sighed, shutting her eyes now. “It had better be important… Let ‘em in.”
And like that, a quartet of two twenty-somethings, a middle-aged woman, and an old man barreled in through the door at once, all talking over one another and expressing confusion with the other’s very existence and presence. It was making the half-prepared girl more uncomfortable than sitting in a chair for awhile just to get ready for a show often did, so she raised her voice, calmly but authoritatively, literally seeming to drown out their babbling in the process. “Quiet down, alright?! One at a time.”
There was a little more whispering among the four, then, and it was the pinstripe-suited woman who stepped forward among them to speak the crowd’s mind. “TD/MD, I presume… This ‘Thutmose’ man, he has made a grave mistake in the scheduling. My associate Alexis here, and this half-nude man carrying a keytar around, they have not met before today, and they certainly did not intend to collaborate before you. Your manager has refused to listen to reason about this, so we are taking the matter straight past him to you… Resolve it at once, and we can be on our way.”
“What?” Metra, facing them all, blinked, shaking her head and glaring at Thutmose. “Again? How does this keep happening? You overbook acts right before me, and it’s such a disaster I’ve started to need to allot extra time to cleanup guys after those sets… It was bad enough before, but it’s seriously getting out of hand, man. I can’t keep dealing with you if you treat everyone else you deal with like this. You’re done working with me. We’re through.”
“B-but… But Metra..!” Thutmose was flabbergasted, looking almost terrified at the prospect. “Please, be reasonable..! I need this job, understand? I’ve got gambling debts, and-”
“Whoa whoa whoa,” the keytarist (Rudolf, or Nureyev, according to the program) interjected then, “let’s not ruin a man’s life over me and Lexy here, yeah? I looked into the history of this place, the Alexander Dickinson… Named after a big dead deal Philanthropist, so basically a dude from the 90's who gave his all to culture in this city, funded all kinds’a stuff! Would a man like that want a man to be fired in his own memorial stadium?”
The logic seemed to confuse nearly everyone there, not least of all Metra, whose response, after a moment, was, “Huh? You… Are you saying it doesn’t bother you?”
“He’s saying that!” Thutmose pleaded. “I am certain he’s saying that!”
“I don’t mind, either…” The redheaded Alexis said next, nodding and looking around at nothing in particular. “Yeah, I think we can work with that… The band he set us up with bailed on us anyway, right? So… Music might help, and it’s not like the things we do step on each other’s toes, yeah? So whatever, I’m sure we’ll still leave a bigger impression.”
Cybil, then, pursed her lips. “If it doesn’t make a difference to you, then, and we’re all on the same page… But still, this is so very inconvenient.”
“Agreed…” Pineapples looked to Thutmose. “Be more responsible in the future, aye? I think even if you keep your job right now, you’re gonna be on thin ice for now. And give up on gambling, if it’s sunken you this far.”
Metra nodded. “Agreed. I can’t guarantee I won’t start looking for a new manager, but… You’ve been good to me, at least. Clean up your act.” Then, she looked over the quartet. “I’m seriously sorry about this… You say you had backup, but they’re not showing up now? I, uh… I don’t know what happened to whoever those were, or why they fell through, but I have something I can do to help both of your shows exist at once: six of the best stagehands I've got.”
At that, the star snapped her fingers, and from the shadowy corners of the room emerged two trios, three men in a pose one well-versed on incidents in the early 20th century Roman Colosseum might compare to Awakening One’s Masters appearing before the Masters of Funky Action, three women in turn also sliding in before the Judecca Highrollers in perfect sync, stepping in with the coordination one might associate with, as a weird example, teenage mobsters jazzed about a dude being sent to the ninth circle of hell.
All six were muscular, clad in black sleeveless shirts, leather gloves, pants, boots, and bandannas over their heads, and all around, they gave off auras of immense reliability.
“Harry, Mark, and John, and Thorn, Dusk, and Luna… I kid you not, these guys can basically do anything and everything you ask of them. If they didn’t much prefer supporting other people to being in the limelight themselves, they would be as big as I am. Treat them well, they’ll learn fast, and they’ll be invaluable to making your bits work. But, uh… I’d hurry it up. Guy and the Fieris probably only have a couple more encores in them, and then you’ll have fifteen to set up. I wish you all luck..!”
Metra Doria had been a bit of a miracle for the grateful performers and put-off older supporters, who had in turn both begun to explain their intended strategies and how those might change to their crew members, who understood alarmingly fast.
“Man…” Rudolf whistled in relief, chuckling. “What a scare that was… But you, Lexy? You’re alright, actually.”
“Thanks,” Alexis answered in turn, still trying to figure this guy out, “you don’t seem bad yourself… I almost kinda feel bad that we’re gonna totally eclipse you out there.”
“Y’think so, huh?” Rudolf answered with a grin, pointing forward with a friendly competitiveness. “Well, the party don’t get drowned out by a damn thing! I’m gonna get all these good people pumped as hell, and they’ll be cheerin’ for me even when that Metra chick goes on!”
“Ooh, I’m starting to feel a bit competitive…” Alexis answered, good-naturedly chuckling and folding her arms. “Wanna see who gets the crowd more pumped? Loser, uh… Buys the winner overpriced concert t-shirts. These things need stakes, right? Heh…”
At the somewhat tongue-in-cheek suggestion, Rudolf nodded. “Sure, yeah! That, and the pride of bein’ one of the best in the city! May the best team win!”
OPEN THE GAME!
Location: The Alexander Dickinson Amphitheater, one of the biggest outdoor venues in the entirety of the Metropolitan area, in the buildup to TD/MD’s headlining act, wherein both of your teams have had a performer set to open for her. The place is packed at a capacity of tens of thousands of people.
The stage is a competently designed semicircle which is roughly 30 meters across for length and maximum width, with plenty of room all over and the various necessary fixtures upheld off the ground. It is raised up about 2 meters off the ground. Its back half is partially covered by the overhanging roof of the backstage area a dozen meters above.
The backstage area spreads out about 10 meters from both sides and the back of the stage, being somewhat indoorsy and absolutely full of things one could expect an excellent stage production to have, including, of course, sturdy rafters which lead up to the ceiling area overtop the stage. Both sides have had time to arrange for some extra things to be brought in.
Goal: With a leadup of fifteen minutes before acts, and a half an hour where both of your performers are onstage at once, you have a show to put on, and that is not getting ruined by this overbooking. So, with Rudolf and Alexis up on stage, and Pineapples and Cybil each operating their abilities and managing a three-person stage crew, outperform your opponents!
Given the vastly different skill-sets of the competitors, the goal is to execute on your vision better than your opponent executes on theirs. You will be judged and voted on the following criteria, in decreasing priority:

Feasibility - Whether your performance is actually within the bounds of what your Stand and Stats would imply.
Skill Use - A close second in relevance; how well you integrate your User Skills and Stats into your performance. While your Skills will help in completing this objective, they do not provide an automatic advantage by merely existing and must be woven into your strats, as per usual. Even the best of artists can have abysmal live performances.
Stand Use - Similar to the above, and similarly important. How cool, creative, and well-integrated is your Stand use. Put another way, wow the judges, voters, and viewers at home! This is more or less just the same as before.
Environment Use - How well you use and integrate the auditorium - its features, its backstage, its stage, and the hearts and passions of its occupants - into your performance.
Efficiency - How much quality footage you obtain and how well you use your time. This does not mean that setup for more complex performances is automatically penalized, but do try to minimize ‘deadtime’ and maximize the amount you perform.

Additional Information: There is a huge simp for TD/MD in the audience of the match, and he is connected enough that he will have both of you successfully and canonically killed if you ruin the show before the headliner can go on; therefore, murdering your opponents or audience members (“the ol’ Abraham Lincoln Tech” as they say in the biz) on an audience member is a loss condition. Not at all a moral thing for the record.
Stage Crew members for the respective teams (Harry, Mark, and John on the MFAs, Thorn, Dusk, and Luna on the Highrollers, if you care about their names) have 4s in strength, agility, endurance, Stagehand, and Backup; pretty much, anything their associated team asks them to do, they’ll be able to do, at minimum, competently. Though they won’t, like, murder for you. Generally you can use them for moving props on/off stage, extra bodies or on-stage back up performers, speaker and soundboard control, and/or on-stage camera crew as well as managing any other stage controls. Pretty much everything save for pyronetics and lighting is in their purview.
There are also dedicated lighting guys, totally neutral in your squabbles, who are going to do an entirely too good job adjusting their focus and making things work exactly as is needed so attention is on the stars of the show. They will also be coordinated with a third party camera crew that will be streaming the live feed onto screens for the audience. These feeds can be replaced or split screened with your own crew’s footage, but otherwise they will generally be in control of what is shown on-screen.
Players can be assumed to already have well-rehearsed their plans of action, the in-universe basis for the modified plans of the match, and have knowledge about every aspect of the stage, even if parts of their initial plan obviously need to be modified to account for new challengers also occupying stage space. If something performance related isn’t insanely, “years of training to do competently required” level hard, but would still require some practice ahead of time, they have had it to, at absolute max, somewhere between a 2 and a 3. Players, don’t overly-game this, though; the ‘stars’ of your performances should be the sheeted unique abilities of you, your skills, and your Stands.
All stands can be seen on camera and on the live feed for the audience's viewing pleasure.

Team	Combatant	JoJolity
Judecca Highrollers	Alexis Williams	“This one is for the guy who keeps yelling from the Balcony, and it’s called ‘We Hate You, Please Die.’” Gymnastics is a sport of rhythm and pace, this performance should be no different for keeping your momentum. Make as seamless transitions as you can between the acts of your performance!
Judecca Highrollers	Cybil Antoine	“Prepare to have your minds obliterated by… The boys! And Crash!” You have a whole crew of people working for you here, no need to do any heavy lifting by yourself. This is their job after all, better put them to work since that’s what they are here for. Make the most use out of your stage hands in your performance!
Masters of Funky Action	Rudolf "Nureyev" Pavlova	“What is with this band? They’ve… changed. Have you noticed they don’t have instruments? Where’s all this amazing noise coming from?” Keeping the audience’s attention for a full 30 minutes should be a piece of cake for the world’s greatest dancer, you can keep the party rocking even between your different acts. Make as seamless transitions as you can between the acts of your performance!
Masters of Funky Action	Admiral Pineapples	“You and your fireballs and your demon hipster chicks / you’re talking the talk and it’s pretty slick / You think you’re so great, but you’re missing the point / You gotta have friendship and courage and whatever!” You’re all in this show together, you and your crew of stage hand. Everybody should be contributing here, no man left behind. Make the most use out of your stage hands in your performance!

Link to the Official Player Spreadsheet
Link to Match Schedule
As always, if you would like to interact with the tournament community and be among the first to get updates for the tournament, please feel free to PM a member of our Judge staff for an invite to our Official Discord Server!

[Confessions of a Teenage Celebrity] - Chapter 13: Tubing (Part 1)

[Cover] [Table Of Contents] [Prologue] [Patreon] [Discord] [Join my mailing list to receive a free book]
[Book 1: Relationships]
As Melinda led me towards the ski lodge, I began to wonder what I had gotten myself into. From where we were standing, I could only see the ski slopes, not the tube park. It was pretty cold outside. Maybe Melinda would change her mind and we could just stay in the lodge.
Exploring the cafeteria options, I was glad Melinda had brought us lunch. Nothing sounded very appealing. However, as we debated between getting two sodas or one to share, we saw someone behind the counter putting warm cookies into a display case.
We sat beside each other near the window, where we could watch the mountain while we ate. Melinda was trying to make conversation, but I was only giving her part of my attention as I looked out the window.
I didn’t see anyone tubing. I only saw skiiers. The people on the mountain seemed to be enjoying themselves. I wondered if they knew how dangerous winter mountain sports could be. There was a stretch of the mountain to my left no one seemed to be using. I wondered if they had closed off that part because of some horrible accident.
“You look anxious.” I could hear the concern in her voice. “What’s wrong. Oh! Are you worried about being recognized?”
I turned away from the window. My adorable girlfriend was looking all around as she continued to babble. “I just realized. I’m sorry. I totally forgot.”
“You’re adorable.” I played with her hair before pulling her in for a kiss. Somehow, that calmed me slightly. I explained how the place was so empty I wasn’t too concerned about crazy fans.
“Okay. You’re not worried about being recognized. Is it the whole Poppy thing?”
I smiled at her weakly. “I was wondering when she was going to ruin our time together. I had nearly forgotten about her. I tend not to think about her when I’m with you.”
“What’s happening with all that?”
There was a small red speck barreling downhill. I watched it grow larger as I explained to Melinda how Meghan and I convinced our mother to fire our agent. The red speck eventually turned into a full-sized person who skied straight back onto the empty lift. I turned to Melinda. She began to play with my hand on the table.
“So, now what?”
I picked up my cookie and put it back down a few times without actually eating it.
“I started doing some research, found an agent I like. Mom’s gonna contact him today. We’re gonna try to figure out if Walter and I should have different agents. Meghan is pretty sure she wants Mom’s agent. This is gonna sound pompous, but we’re so famous, most agents would love to represent us.”
“But, what about the Poppy rumor?”
“We fired Cynthia, so Mom’s agent is gonna try to sort things out for us. But, it’s possible it won’t go away. There’s some legal things we might look into, but, honestly, I’m letting Uncle Brendan figure it all out.”
“The lawyer, right?” Melinda asked.
I watched another speck speed down the hill. Melinda slurped the soda we were sharing before trying to resume the conversation.
“If you’re not worried about being recognized, and you’re not upset about Poppy, then why do you look so anxious?”
I wanted to lie, but figured that probably wouldn’t be a great idea. I felt my face grow warm as I turned to her. “I’ve just never gone tubing before.”
Melinda giggled, but she reached around to trace her hand along my spine. That was supposed to be my job. I held her close, playing with her hair as she tried to assuage my fears.
“Tubing is a lot of fun. It’s like sledding. Only faster.”
“It’s dangerous. They make your parent sign one of those waiver things.”
“Yes. But, you also sign a waiver when you visit the town pool. It’s no more dangerous.”
“Are you kidding? The town pool? That’s got kids peeing in the water and people jumping on top of you. That’s got to be more dangerous than this!”
“Fine. Then...laser tag. You have to sign a waiver for that.”
“People running around in the dark? You can trip over something and break your neck. Or, you can trip over the person that tripped over something, and you both break your necks. Or –”
Melinda stopped my babbling with a kiss. That calmed my anxiety a lot. But, I wasn’t going to drop the subject completely. I pulled her close.
“This is nice. Why don’t we just stay here and do this until your mom comes?”
Melinda stood up, giggling as she reached for my hand. “Come on. You clean this mess, and I’ll go get the tickets.”
She tugged me to my feet, then went to the desk near the front entrance while I threw the garbage into the nearest can. A few moments later, she returned with two stickers and two strange-looking metal things. They looked like witches’ hats, or noses.
Melinda showed me how to attach the metal wicket to my zipper, then put the adhesive ticket on either side to create a tag. We bundled ourselves out and went back to the cold.
Melinda led me to the rental building, where an attendant gave us helmets and tubes, which we dragged to the tubing park.
As we approached, I realized we were heading right for the part I had assumed had been closed. There were about ten lanes, divided by mounds of snow, and they had small bumps as they went down the mountain.
Melinda stopped as we got near the bottom of the mountain. “Put down your tube and gimme your hand.”
Gladly. That thing was getting heavy. I held out my arm. “Everything okay?”
Melinda bent down to my tube, picking up a leash I had not noticed earlier. She fastened the strap around my wrist.
“We’re gonna get on the lift now. You can just kinda drag your tube behind you on the way up, okay?”
“How do I get on the lift?”
She pointed to a black belt slowly moving up the mountain. “It’s kinda like an escalator with no stairs. Just step on. Follow me.”
She boarded the lift and I followed. At the top of the mountain, I followed Melinda to a center lane and she showed me how to sit in my tube. Then she moved to the lane beside me.
Before we left, she took her strap from her wrist and tossed it to me. “Here. Hang on to this and we can go down together.”
I held it tight as we pushed off.
Tubing was more exhilarating than I could have imagined. We didn’t go straight downhill. There were bumps. There were dips. The tube slid from side to side within the lane. Before I knew it, we were slowing down at the bottom.
I jumped out of my tube, feeling more alive than I had in a while. “Wow! That was sick. Let’s go again!” I was nearly bouncing with excitement.
Our passes were only good for two hours, and I wanted to get every second’s worth. I raced back to the lift.
I didn’t need to hold Melinda’s leash anymore. I wasn’t scared. As a result, she ended up turning backwards on our next run. I was a little in front of her, so I didn’t notice until we had reached the bottom.
The third time down, I ended up backwards before the first bump. It was even more exhilarating because I had no idea what was coming next. I spent the fourth run figuring out how to do it on purpose, finally succeeding about a third of the way down my fifth run. I spent the rest of the two hours tubing backwards.
The lodge was a little more crowded when we were done tubing. The ski mountain was started to have a little more life as well.
We went back to where we had sat before, where Melinda had left her soft cooler lying. Apparently, it is normal to leave your belongings lying around a ski lodge. I had worried someone would move it or put it in lost and found, but it was exactly where we had left it.
Melinda sat beside me and texted her mother while I emptied the contents of the cooler. She explained her mother was at a nearby mall and would get us in about an hour.
We made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. After two, I was still hungry. I didn’t say anything, but there must have been something in my expression because Melinda started giggling as she leaned against me slightly.
“Go ahead. I don’t mind.”
“But, I don’t want to turn into my brother.”
“Tubing is a physical activity. You’ve got to replace the calories you just burned.”
“You only had two.”
“I normally don’t eat two. I’ve seen you eat, Pat. Have another sandwich. I promise not to tell Walter.”
As I ate the third sandwich, Melinda told me about how she used to come here with her friends. Then, we talked about how her friends had changed once they started high school.
I felt bad that I couldn’t relate. I had never let anyone get close to me until Hartfield. But, Melinda just seemed to be looking for someone to share her story, not her emotions.
We talked a little about one of my best friends at school, Zach. Then we talked a little about going back to school.
People started coming off the mountain and the lodge was getting a little more crowded. I saw people starting to stare in our direction.
“Can we go somewhere less conspicuous?” I asked as I started packing the picnic back into the cooler.
Melinda looked around. “Yeah, sure. I have an idea.”
We took the cooler and went out a glass door towards the slopes. Melinda backtracked slightly until we were in a small area away from both the lodge and the slopes. A fire pit had been constructed with Adirondack chairs surrounding it.
I sat in one of the chairs, pulling Melinda into my lap. We kissed for a long time, unfazed by the cold, until she thought we should go wait for her mother.

“How was it?” Melinda’s mother asked as she pulled away from the drop off circle.
I smiled. “It was a lot of fun. I’ve never gone tubing before. Thanks for driving me, Mrs. Luzzelli.”
Melinda’s mother smiled. “I’m glad you had fun. Are you going straight home, or were you planning on staying for a while? Either is fine with me.”
I turned to Melinda, sitting beside me in the backseat. “Did you finish that puzzle without me?”
When she shook her head, I turned my attention back to her mother. “I guess that means I’m staying for a little while.”

I placed the last piece into the jigsaw puzzle and stood back to examine my work. The picture displayed three kittens sitting on yarn balls of various colors in a large woven basket.
“It’s cute. It’s a shame we worked so hard and now we have to put it back in the box.”
Melinda went to the closet. “Why?”
“Because we worked so hard on it.” Wasn’t she listening?
“No, I mean, why take it apart?” She returned to the table with a bottle of glue.
“What’s that for?”
“You’ve never glued a puzzle?”
No, because I hadn’t done puzzles since I was little. I had no idea what she meant. I just stared at her.
“We always do this. Look around. All the pictures on the walls are puzzles.”
I did as she said, noticing for the first time that all the artwork on the walls were indeed puzzles of various shapes and sizes. While I was admiring all the framed puzzles, Melinda dumped the glue on top of the one we had just completed, then massaged it between the pieces.
“Aren’t you gonna help me?”
No. It looked squishy and gross. I didn’t want to touch it. I tried to respond as nonchalantly as possible. “And get that all over my fingers?’
Melinda smiled mischievously, then reached for me with her glue-covered hands. I leapt out of her way. I expected her to follow me, but she went back to gluing the puzzle.
I stood beside her, watching over her shoulder before deciding to help. It didn’t take too long and, despite our hands being covered in glue, wasn’t quite as icky as I thought it would be.
When we could no longer see the cats and yarn through the white film, Melinda stood back to admire our handiwork.
“See? Now it’ll dry clear.”
“That’s pretty cool. I may have to start doing this at home.” I meant it, too. Doing the puzzle had been a lot more fun and way more relaxing than I had anticipated. “Now what?”
Melinda led me down the hall. “Well, first we have to wash our hands. We have a little time, but you have to leave by five.”
I couldn’t help but tease her as she entered a bedroom. Since it had a lot of pink and purple, I was pretty sure it was hers.
“Why? Is your other boyfriend coming over?”
“Yes. His name is Eric and my parents like him better than you.”
Melinda turned around. I could tell she was waiting for my response to her joke. (I’m pretty sure it had been a joke.)
Instead, I pointed to the bed. “Is this your bedroom?”
“Yeah. My bathroom’s right here.” Melinda pointed towards a door on the opposite side of the room.
“I can’t go in there.”
“Huh?” Her bafflement was adorable. “Oh. Right. I forgot. Hang on.” Melinda left the bathroom door open as she washed her hands. Then, she came to stand beside me in the doorway.
“There. I think you can go wash your hands, if I stand here.” As I crossed the room, she called after me, “So, what do you want to do now?”
I wasn’t sure if soap would make it harder to get the glue off, but since there were still bubbles in the sink from Melinda, I decided to try it as I answered her. “I have no idea. WTTE?”
“How about cards?”
I made a face into the mirror, but I was pretty sure she couldn’t see me. I waited until I was beside her before responding. “I can play solitaire.”
I followed her back to the study, where Melinda took two decks of cards from a box in the closet. “How about double solitaire?” Melinda suggested as she sat on the floor.
“That’s a game?” I sat on the floor across from her and watched her shuffle. It was different than the normal way. There was something about it that was familiar.
“Mom and Dad had a casino party once.” My eyes were fixed on her hands. “They hired actual dealers from real casinos. They shuffled the cards like that, at the corners. Are you a card shark?”
Melinda giggled. “My grandfather loves playing cards. He taught me when I was seven. I could shuffle better than him by the time I started middle school.”
“You are a card shark! I don’t wanna play with you.”
“It’s only solitaire. Watch.” She handed me the deck of red cards.
I copied Melinda as we laid out cards in front of ourselves and created playing slots. She explained how to play our personal space and the shared space. After she explained the scoring, we played the first round.
I picked up my pile in my left hand and prepared my right to flip the first cards when Melinda gave the signal.
She beat me, forty to twenty in the first round, but I was a fast learner and I reached a hundred points in the third round, while she still had eighty-nine.
We separated the decks and she said she would teach me to play War. She then described the game I played with my roommate.
“Wait. I know this game. This is the game I play with Frank.”
“I thought you said you only play solitaire.”
“Well, I didn’t know the name of this game. He calls it something else. Jung-Jang, I think. His grandfather taught him. One of his grandfathers speaks Korean, the other one Chinese. I’m not sure which one taught him the game.”
Melinda smiled as she picked up her stack and we began flipping the cards. I won the first game and she won the second. We had just separated the stacks for a tiebreaker round when her other boyfriend arrived.

“Melinda!” Her mother called up the stairs a few moments after we heard the doorbell sound. “Your ride is here.”
Oh man! I had lost all track of time. I kept my voice low as Melinda packed the cards away.
“I didn’t get to say goodbye.”
She turned and put her arms around my neck. “I’ll see you Sunday. I’ll try to get back to campus early.” Our kiss was interrupted by a knock on the door.
Melinda’s roommate was standing just over the threshold with a knowing smile. “Sorry.”
Her miniature clone peered around her into the room. I had met her once before, so I knew she wasn’t about to turn into a screaming fan. She started waving at Melinda, but when she saw me, she started signing frantically.
Although I had learned American Sign Language for my last film, I was not able to follow Crystal when she got excited. I missed a lot of what she was asking, but I got the impression she wanted to know why I was there and if Melinda was my girlfriend.
I laughed, speaking aloud as I signed. “Slow down! Melinda will tell you all about it later. I better get home. Hi, Sarah. Bye, Sarah!”
I smiled at Melinda’s roommate, kissed the top of Melinda’s head quickly, then started out of the room, the three girls in tow. As I got in my car, I saw Melinda wave one last time before shutting the door.

[Table Of Contents] [Chapter 13, Part 2]
Want to read more about Walter and Melinda? Check out Boarding School Blues - Chapter 37: Tubing

Confessions of a Teenage Celebrity - Chapter 4: Tubing (Part 1)

[Cover] [Table Of Contents] [Prologue] [Book 1] [Patreon] [Discord] [Join my mailing list for a free book]
As Melinda led me towards the ski lodge, I began to wonder what I had gotten myself into. From where we were standing, I could only see the ski slopes, not the tube park. It was pretty cold outside. Maybe Melinda would change her mind and we could just stay in the lodge.
Exploring the cafeteria options, I was glad Melinda had brought us lunch. Nothing sounded very appealing. However, as we debated between getting two sodas or one to share, we saw someone behind the counter putting warm cookies into a display case.
We sat beside each other near the window, where we could watch the mountain while we ate. Melinda was trying to make conversation, but I was only giving her part of my attention as I looked out the window.
I didn’t see anyone tubing. I only saw skiiers. The people on the mountain seemed to be enjoying themselves. I wondered if they knew how dangerous winter mountain sports could be. There was a stretch of the mountain to my left no one seemed to be using. I wondered if they had closed off that part because of some horrible accident.
“You look anxious.” I could hear the concern in her voice. “What’s wrong. Oh! Are you worried about being recognized?”
I turned away from the window. My adorable girlfriend was looking all around as she continued to babble. “I just realized. I’m sorry. I totally forgot.”
“You’re adorable.” I played with her hair before pulling her in for a kiss. Somehow, that calmed me slightly. I explained how the place was so empty I wasn’t too concerned about crazy fans.
“Okay. You’re not worried about being recognized. Is it the whole Poppy thing?”
I smiled at her weakly. “I was wondering when she was going to ruin our time together. I had nearly forgotten about her. I tend not to think about her when I’m with you.”
“What’s happening with all that?”
There was a small red speck barreling downhill. I watched it grow larger as I explained to Melinda how Meghan and I convinced our mother to fire our agent. The red speck eventually turned into a full-sized person who skied straight back onto the empty lift. I turned to Melinda. She began to play with my hand on the table.
“So, now what?”
I picked up my cookie and put it back down a few times without actually eating it.
“I started doing some research, found an agent I like. Mom’s gonna contact him today. We’re gonna try to figure out if Walter and I should have different agents. Meghan is pretty sure she wants Mom’s agent. This is gonna sound pompous, but we’re so famous, most agents would love to represent us.”
“But, what about the Poppy rumor?”
“We fired Cynthia, so Mom’s agent is gonna try to sort things out for us. But, it’s possible it won’t go away. There’s some legal things we might look into, but, honestly, I’m letting Uncle Brendan figure it all out.”
“The lawyer, right?” Melinda asked.
I watched another speck speed down the hill. Melinda slurped the soda we were sharing before trying to resume the conversation.
“If you’re not worried about being recognized, and you’re not upset about Poppy, then why do you look so anxious?”
I wanted to lie, but figured that probably wouldn’t be a great idea. I felt my face grow warm as I turned to her. “I’ve just never gone tubing before.”
Melinda giggled, but she reached around to trace her hand along my spine. That was supposed to be my job. I held her close, playing with her hair as she tried to assuage my fears.
“Tubing is a lot of fun. It’s like sledding. Only faster.”
“It’s dangerous. They make your parent sign one of those waiver things.”
“Yes. But, you also sign a waiver when you visit the town pool. It’s no more dangerous.”
“Are you kidding? The town pool? That’s got kids peeing in the water and people jumping on top of you. That’s got to be more dangerous than this!”
“Fine. Then...laser tag. You have to sign a waiver for that.”
“People running around in the dark? You can trip over something and break your neck. Or, you can trip over the person that tripped over something, and you both break your necks. Or –”
Melinda stopped my babbling with a kiss. That calmed my anxiety a lot. But, I wasn’t going to drop the subject completely. I pulled her close.
“This is nice. Why don’t we just stay here and do this until your mom comes?”
Melinda stood up, giggling as she reached for my hand. “Come on. You clean this mess, and I’ll go get the tickets.”
She tugged me to my feet, then went to the desk near the front entrance while I threw the garbage into the nearest can. A few moments later, she returned with two stickers and two strange-looking metal things. They looked like witches’ hats, or noses.
Melinda showed me how to attach the metal wicket to my zipper, then put the adhesive ticket on either side to create a tag. We bundled ourselves out and went back to the cold.
Melinda led me to the rental building, where an attendant gave us helmets and tubes, which we dragged to the tubing park.
As we approached, I realized we were heading right for the part I had assumed had been closed. There were about ten lanes, divided by mounds of snow, and they had small bumps as they went down the mountain.
Melinda stopped as we got near the bottom of the mountain. “Put down your tube and gimme your hand.”
Gladly. That thing was getting heavy. I held out my arm. “Everything okay?”
Melinda bent down to my tube, picking up a leash I had not noticed earlier. She fastened the strap around my wrist.
“We’re gonna get on the lift now. You can just kinda drag your tube behind you on the way up, okay?”
“How do I get on the lift?”
She pointed to a black belt slowly moving up the mountain. “It’s kinda like an escalator with no stairs. Just step on. Follow me.”
She boarded the lift and I followed. At the top of the mountain, I followed Melinda to a center lane and she showed me how to sit in my tube. Then she moved to the lane beside me.
Before we left, she took her strap from her wrist and tossed it to me. “Here. Hang on to this and we can go down together.”
I held it tight as we pushed off.
Tubing was more exhilarating than I could have imagined. We didn’t go straight downhill. There were bumps. There were dips. The tube slid from side to side within the lane. Before I knew it, we were slowing down at the bottom.
I jumped out of my tube, feeling more alive than I had in a while. “Wow! That was sick. Let’s go again!” I was nearly bouncing with excitement.
Our passes were only good for two hours, and I wanted to get every second’s worth. I raced back to the lift.
I didn’t need to hold Melinda’s leash anymore. I wasn’t scared. As a result, she ended up turning backwards on our next run. I was a little in front of her, so I didn’t notice until we had reached the bottom.
The third time down, I ended up backwards before the first bump. It was even more exhilarating because I had no idea what was coming next. I spent the fourth run figuring out how to do it on purpose, finally succeeding about a third of the way down my fifth run. I spent the rest of the two hours tubing backwards.
The lodge was a little more crowded when we were done tubing. The ski mountain was started to have a little more life as well.
We went back to where we had sat before, where Melinda had left her soft cooler lying. Apparently, it is normal to leave your belongings lying around a ski lodge. I had worried someone would move it or put it in lost and found, but it was exactly where we had left it.
Melinda sat beside me and texted her mother while I emptied the contents of the cooler. She explained her mother was at a nearby mall and would get us in about an hour.
We made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. After two, I was still hungry. I didn’t say anything, but there must have been something in my expression because Melinda started giggling as she leaned against me slightly.
“Go ahead. I don’t mind.”
“But, I don’t want to turn into my brother.”
“Tubing is a physical activity. You’ve got to replace the calories you just burned.”
“You only had two.”
“I normally don’t eat two. I’ve seen you eat, Pat. Have another sandwich. I promise not to tell Walter.”
As I ate the third sandwich, Melinda told me about how she used to come here with her friends. Then, we talked about how her friends had changed once they started high school.
I felt bad that I couldn’t relate. I had never let anyone get close to me until Hartfield. But, Melinda just seemed to be looking for someone to share her story, not her emotions.
We talked a little about one of my best friends at school, Zach. Then we talked a little about going back to school.
People started coming off the mountain and the lodge was getting a little more crowded. I saw people starting to stare in our direction.
“Can we go somewhere less conspicuous?” I asked as I started packing the picnic back into the cooler.
Melinda looked around. “Yeah, sure. I have an idea.”
We took the cooler and went out a glass door towards the slopes. Melinda backtracked slightly until we were in a small area away from both the lodge and the slopes. A fire pit had been constructed with Adirondack chairs surrounding it.
I sat in one of the chairs, pulling Melinda into my lap. We kissed for a long time, unfazed by the cold, until she thought we should go wait for her mother.

“How was it?” Melinda’s mother asked as she pulled away from the drop off circle.
I smiled. “It was a lot of fun. I’ve never gone tubing before. Thanks for driving me, Mrs. Luzzelli.”
Melinda’s mother smiled. “I’m glad you had fun. Are you going straight home, or were you planning on staying for a while? Either is fine with me.”
I turned to Melinda, sitting beside me in the backseat. “Did you finish that puzzle without me?”
When she shook her head, I turned my attention back to her mother. “I guess that means I’m staying for a little while.”

I placed the last piece into the jigsaw puzzle and stood back to examine my work. The picture displayed three kittens sitting on yarn balls of various colors in a large woven basket.
“It’s cute. It’s a shame we worked so hard and now we have to put it back in the box.”
Melinda went to the closet. “Why?”
“Because we worked so hard on it.” Wasn’t she listening?
“No, I mean, why take it apart?” She returned to the table with a bottle of glue.
“What’s that for?”
“You’ve never glued a puzzle?”
No, because I hadn’t done puzzles since I was little. I had no idea what she meant. I just stared at her.
“We always do this. Look around. All the pictures on the walls are puzzles.”
I did as she said, noticing for the first time that all the artwork on the walls were indeed puzzles of various shapes and sizes. While I was admiring all the framed puzzles, Melinda dumped the glue on top of the one we had just completed, then massaged it between the pieces.
“Aren’t you gonna help me?”
No. It looked squishy and gross. I didn’t want to touch it. I tried to respond as nonchalantly as possible. “And get that all over my fingers?’
Melinda smiled mischievously, then reached for me with her glue-covered hands. I leapt out of her way. I expected her to follow me, but she went back to gluing the puzzle.
I stood beside her, watching over her shoulder before deciding to help. It didn’t take too long and, despite our hands being covered in glue, wasn’t quite as icky as I thought it would be.
When we could no longer see the cats and yarn through the white film, Melinda stood back to admire our handiwork.
“See? Now it’ll dry clear.”
“That’s pretty cool. I may have to start doing this at home.” I meant it, too. Doing the puzzle had been a lot more fun and way more relaxing than I had anticipated. “Now what?”
Melinda led me down the hall. “Well, first we have to wash our hands. We have a little time, but you have to leave by five.”
I couldn’t help but tease her as she entered a bedroom. Since it had a lot of pink and purple, I was pretty sure it was hers.
“Why? Is your other boyfriend coming over?”
“Yes. His name is Eric and my parents like him better than you.”
Melinda turned around. I could tell she was waiting for my response to her joke. (I’m pretty sure it had been a joke.)
Instead, I pointed to the bed. “Is this your bedroom?”
“Yeah. My bathroom’s right here.” Melinda pointed towards a door on the opposite side of the room.
“I can’t go in there.”
“Huh?” Her bafflement was adorable. “Oh. Right. I forgot. Hang on.” Melinda left the bathroom door open as she washed her hands. Then, she came to stand beside me in the doorway.
“There. I think you can go wash your hands, if I stand here.” As I crossed the room, she called after me, “So, what do you want to do now?”
I wasn’t sure if soap would make it harder to get the glue off, but since there were still bubbles in the sink from Melinda, I decided to try it as I answered her. “I have no idea. WTTE?”
“How about cards?”
I made a face into the mirror, but I was pretty sure she couldn’t see me. I waited until I was beside her before responding. “I can play solitaire.”
I followed her back to the study, where Melinda took two decks of cards from a box in the closet. “How about double solitaire?” Melinda suggested as she sat on the floor.
“That’s a game?” I sat on the floor across from her and watched her shuffle. It was different than the normal way. There was something about it that was familiar.
“Mom and Dad had a casino party once.” My eyes were fixed on her hands. “They hired actual dealers from real casinos. They shuffled the cards like that, at the corners. Are you a card shark?”
Melinda giggled. “My grandfather loves playing cards. He taught me when I was seven. I could shuffle better than him by the time I started middle school.”
“You are a card shark! I don’t wanna play with you.”
“It’s only solitaire. Watch.” She handed me the deck of red cards.
I copied Melinda as we laid out cards in front of ourselves and created playing slots. She explained how to play our personal space and the shared space. After she explained the scoring, we played the first round.
I picked up my pile in my left hand and prepared my right to flip the first cards when Melinda gave the signal.
She beat me, forty to twenty in the first round, but I was a fast learner and I reached a hundred points in the third round, while she still had eighty-nine.
We separated the decks and she said she would teach me to play War. She then described the game I played with my roommate.
“Wait. I know this game. This is the game I play with Frank.”
“I thought you said you only play solitaire.”
“Well, I didn’t know the name of this game. He calls it something else. Jung-Jang, I think. His grandfather taught him. One of his grandfathers speaks Korean, the other one Chinese. I’m not sure which one taught him the game.”
Melinda smiled as she picked up her stack and we began flipping the cards. I won the first game and she won the second. We had just separated the stacks for a tiebreaker round when her other boyfriend arrived.

“Melinda!” Her mother called up the stairs a few moments after we heard the doorbell sound. “Your ride is here.”
Oh man! I had lost all track of time. I kept my voice low as Melinda packed the cards away.
“I didn’t get to say goodbye.”
She turned and put her arms around my neck. “I’ll see you Sunday. I’ll try to get back to campus early.” Our kiss was interrupted by a knock on the door.
Melinda’s roommate was standing just over the threshold with a knowing smile. “Sorry.”
Her miniature clone peered around her into the room. I had met her once before, so I knew she wasn’t about to turn into a screaming fan. She started waving at Melinda, but when she saw me, she started signing frantically.
Although I had learned American Sign Language for my last film, I was not able to follow Crystal when she got excited. I missed a lot of what she was asking, but I got the impression she wanted to know why I was there and if Melinda was my girlfriend.
I laughed, speaking aloud as I signed. “Slow down! Melinda will tell you all about it later. I better get home. Hi, Sarah. Bye, Sarah!”
I smiled at Melinda’s roommate, kissed the top of Melinda’s head quickly, then started out of the room, the three girls in tow. As I got in my car, I saw Melinda wave one last time before shutting the door.

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HelpMeButler

[Table Of Contents] [Chapter 4, part 2]
Want to read more about Walter and Melinda? Check out Boarding School Break: Happy Thanksgiving - Chapter 6: Tubing

My story of gambling addiction in detail

Warning: Possible Triggers in the story below
I have decided part of my recovery will include writing out every little detail I can remember about the long road astray that gambling has caused my life. Today is day one and I am ready to reclaim my life from this evil that exists in the world, again. A short recap of the most recent events before I hit the details: Gambling addict for 12 years and went 1 year 4 months without gambling a dime before letting a $100 dollar deposit become a $10,000 mistake again. I am writing this for myself as a reminder and for others, as reading others stories on this subreddit was one of the tools I used to make it a year and four months without gambling.
BEFORE KNOWING I HAD A PROBLEM
I turned 18 and vividly remember my dad taking me and my mom to an indian casino for my birthday. I was so excited seeing the ads on TV and wanting to go try my luck on my parents dime but the worst thing that could happen, happened. I hit $400 on a $4 dollar bet playing slots. I had not made $400 all summer working my ass off, but was able to make it in 20 seconds at this casino. From this moment on, I was hooked. As everyone knows, the worst thing that can happen as a gambler is to win big and at 18 this was a massive amount of money to win. From 18-22 I kept my stakes low and would only bring $50-$100 to the casinos because of the lack of funds and I can recall feeling physically ill if I had lost it. I was a college student so at the time I did not have much money to spend and it truly was a leisurely activity until I went one afternoon and hit $2400 on quickhits on a $2 bet. I had found the secret to being rich, it was playing slots at the casino. I still recall being frugal and keeping my bet sizes from 25 cents to a $2 max due to no income and solely relying on my parents providing me with a little side cash going back and forth from visiting my parents to going back to college. At this point of my life gambling seemed like a fun easy way to make cash, I was all about that.
I graduated from college and found a very promising career in sales. I was making very good money and living the dream free of all worries. I really didn’t gamble all too often as the nearest casino was 3 hours away, that was until I discovered the world of online gambling. Then the addiction kicked in.
STARTING TO RECOGNIZE A GAMBLING PROBLEM
I started watching gambling streams on youtube and couldn’t believe how much money people would make on the online slots. I live in the USA so I only had a handful of options of casinos I could play at. I started making multiple $25 deposits a day to try my luck and had some ups but mostly downs. One day I hit big online and tried withdrawing my winnings. Sure enough, a check from what appeared to be China hit my mail and was in my bank account. The online US casinos were limited game wise and the more I played the more I felt like I was getting scammed but that didn’t stop me. I joined a gambling online forum and learned of ways to bypass the US restrictions and was free to play the “good” games that were available in other countries. I never knew if I did win whether or not I would receive the winnings but this had now turned into double gamble which made the excitement intensify. Sure enough, I won another 2k online betting $1. I remember thinking to myself, why would anyone work when you can make this kind of money sitting in your own living room having fun. Well, as fate would have it, that 2k online diminished as I purchased a total of 5k worth of gift cards to make deposits at the casino and lost it all plus my savings over a 3-6 month period of time. That left a nasty taste in my mouth and now I had debt for the first time. I had to escape this debt somehow and kept playing slots and running my bank account to 0 every paycheck. Depression started to kick in and eventually playing slots lead me to self-harm and suicidal tendencies.
RECOGNIZING GAMBLING ADDICTION
I still was hooked on online slots even though I was in debt but ran out of all of my money. Thats when I discovered I could sign up for a credit card and get cash advances. Over a period of 5 years I racked up a surmounting 15k worth of credit card cash advances which put myself in a position where I could barley make minimum payments on all the cards I had opened and have any spare cash at the end of the month. This fed my addiction as it was the only way I knew I could get out and sure enough, I would max out my cards and hit big again on the very last deposit available to me. I would go from 15k of debt to 2k of debt overnight and would swear that I would never play again. We all know how that went and would teeter totter back and forth from having money in the bank to maxing out my credit cards and having only rice to eat for the month. This is when I knew I had a problem but had no clue how to fix it. I brought my family into the situation, told them what I had done when I finally didn’t win and had maxed out all and they were disappointed but helped and gave me money. The money of course went to gambling and so the cycle continued.
FULL BLOWN ADDICT
I worked hard and was good at my job and was able to stop gambling for a period of time and save enough money to purchase a house. I had a new life ahead of me, a new house and a new best friend in my dog. I had real responsibilities now and cut back on gambling. I stopped playing online as much and started driving the 3 hour drive to the casino to try my luck there. This is where the worst thing that could possibly happen, happened. I won and I won big. I remember bringing $500 to the casino and turning that into $1600. What a rush, but then lost it all. Then as you all know the ATM trips started up and I 0’d out my bank account and decided to try higher denomination slots as a last resort. I put $1200 into a $25 machine and won $25,000. I could not believe my luck, it had to be fate. I went home that night knowing this was my new job, PRO SLOT PLAYER. I called in sick at work the next day because there was more money to be made and off I went to my new job 3 hours away at 3 am in the morning because I couldn’t wait to get there and start playing. I started small and made 3 trips to the ATM at $500 withdrawals. On the last trip, I hit $20,000 on a $2 machine. I made $45,000 in a matter of 48 hours, which was a years pay at my current job. I had everything figured out and I was going to be rich.
FUCK GAMBLING
That new savings nest egg that was sitting in my bank disappeared within 6 weeks of my new job playing high stakes slots. Cash advances and depression were my new reality. I ran my credit cards up until they were all completely maxed out and now was back to the same reality of living paycheck to paycheck only making minimum payments on my cards. I reached out to family again and they came through again for me if I promised to stop once and for all. They wrote me a check for $18,000 to pay off all credit cards with the stipulation that I never gamble again. We all know how that turned out, I withstood from gambling for a good two months then after I had a nice savings built up started playing online and at the casinos again. Within 3 months I had maxed everything out again and here I was back in the same situation I was in earlier but this time had betrayed my own family. I went back to the old ways of self-harm and had another suicidal attempt that failed. I was my own worst enemy at the time and had no idea how to stop and no money to gamble. Around this time, I was hit with layoffs which was what I took as a sign that I had one more chance to hit big and make it right with my family and myself. I was getting 3 months worth of pay in 2 weeks. Time to hit the casino and win 50k. I never hit big that night, I lost my 3 months severance pay and had no answers, only an insurmountable weight on my shoulders. I had to sell my house and move in with family until I could find another job. The same family who I also owed $18,000 to and whom knew about the addiction and betrayal. Years went by and I would have good months and then I would run up my cards other months playing online. I didn’t have any bills so I would make my minimum payments and use my checks and continue this disgusting cycle for 4 years. I felt like a complete loser and the only way out was to hit big again. I would hit big countless times online and would withdraw it to my bank account only to re-deposit it the next week and lose. It is literally the most miserable cycle and so draining mentally and physically.
ROAD TO RECOVERY
I stumbled across a podcast of Joe Rogan’s with a guest named David Goggins. This man is the baddest dude on this planet and the stories he shared on that podcast made me wake up and stop being the victim and realize no one gives a shit and only you can fix you. It was a mindset I needed as I had been the victim for the past 10+years in my own mind. I started researching gambling addiction and what I could do to stop it and became obsessed. I removed myself from all online casinos, stopped watching gambling videos, added gamblock to my PC and phone, and started working out. I bought his audio book and listened to it countless times while exercising. I had a new mindset and I was going to beat this mother fucker. The hours spent staring into a pc screen were now on the road running or learning a good habit like mediation or how to play guitar ect…. I had finally found something that worked, a routine and threw the victim card away. No one was going to save me but myself and I was damned determined to do so. Along the way, I also met someone whom I fell in love with. My life was all starting to come together and I was less than a few months away from paying off nearly 48k worth of debt from gambling. I also listened to Allen Carr’s Easy Way To Stop Gambling audiobook which I highly suggest. Well, as luck would have it COVID-19 strikes and I am working from home now which means I have a lot of spare time on my hands and no one glancing at my personal PC during the quiet times. I started watching more gambling streams on twitch and saw how easy these guys are making bank online gambling. I knew in my mind that these guys are probably not playing with their own money but the little monster snuck up and told me to go ahead and try my luck one time. I made a $100 dollar deposit online that turned into a $10,000 mistake chasing that first $100 lost and now here I am set back another 6 months. I turned back into the lying, deceiving piece of shit that I once was, only now I do see an end to all of this and know the path I have to take to get my life back. I’ve closed my online accounts, removed access to credit cards, will be installing gamblock today, and going back to healthy habits to keep my mind at ease. I already have found relief in writing this and hoping that it will help one person to stay on the road of recovery or decide to take that path. You will never win and if you do win you will give it all back plus more. Do not kid yourself. If you are on this subreddit you are addicted and you cannot casually gamble. I know this sounds harsh but being harsh is what helped me get to where I was before, its what I had to have to get my life straightened out. It is the David Goggins - no bullshit - tell it like it is approach. Get after it guys, tell gambling to FUCK OFF and beat this beast with me.
David Goggins Podcast I highly recommend:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tSTk1083VY
https://youtu.be/BvWB7B8tXK8
Books that helped me:
Can't hurt me- David Goggins
The Easy Way to Stop Gambling- Allen Carr

[Let's Build] D100 New Deck of Many Things Cards

The Maiden- A random person you have met throughout your adventure becomes hopelessly, obsessively in love with you
The Wizard- You may choose a spell from the first level list of wizard spells and once per day that spell may be cast without expending a spell slot. Using it at higher tiers still uses higher tier spell slots.
The Mountain- You permanently grow by one size class. The only way to undo this is a wish spell.
Sloth (As in the Sin)- You fall into a deep sleep and will not wake by any normal method. You are magically sustained and your body does not age while this effect is active.
The Mime - You lose the ability to speak. Can only be cured by a wish spell (By TheDirtyDeal)
The Sun - You glow brilliantly like the sun and shed bright light in a 60 foot radius around you, and dim light up to 180 feet. (By TheDirtyDeal)
The Comedian - +2 To charisma skill checks and saving throws. -1 to all others. (By QuintTheWarlock)
Wrath: You gain the flaw "I am quick to anger, driven to extract vengeance from those who have wronged me and a real bear first thing in the morning." (By oddtwang)
Greed: all non-magical coins, trade goods and other currency, gemstones and art objects on your person, held in your containers (including e.g. a bag of holding), stored within your legal property or held on your behalf in a bank or other institution under your name are instantly replicated 10 times. The copies are identical and indistinguishable, including any identifying features, flaws or serial numbers. If there is insufficient space for them to be held, the objects spill out, rupture or otherwise force their way into the world. (By oddtwang)
Gluttony: You develop an insatiable hunger. Your normal requirements for sustenance are doubled and you find it difficult to stop consuming. If you do not currently require sustenance, or if you are unable to satisfy your newly increased needs for 48 hours, you develop a need to consume something unusual, taboo or difficult to acquire. (By oddtwang)
The Void- (opposite of the Sun) Light seems to dim when you are around. If you are in bright light, it becomes dim light for a 60 ft radius around you. If you are in dim light, it become dark for a 60 ft radius around you. Creatures can not see you, unless they have true sight, if you are in dim light. (Similar to the Darkness spell) (By CreepShowGirl666)
Serpents: You immediately contract a poison that will kill you in 1d10 days. The only way to cure it is with a potato from a different continent. [Your character and party know this] (By LongIslandBall)
The Orchard:You gain an apple, that, when bitten into, heals itself over time, effectively granting you infinite food. However, if another person were to bite the apple, it would become just a normal apple. [Your character does not know this.] (By LongIslandBall)
4 Leaf Clover: the card turns into a 4 leaf clover that is unaffected by the use of force or magic and can only be destroyed by the use of the wish spell or Divine intervention. The creature in possession of this clover is imbued with great luck and gains the following abilities. You may pick one ability where any ability checks, skill checks, attack rolls, or saving throws that you make using that skill automatically succeed for 24 hours. Using this feature drains the available luck from the artifact for 1d4+1 days rendering it useless for that amount of time after the 24 hours expire. Once per day, you can change any dice roll you make excluding d100 to be equal to x-1 where x is the number of sides on the dice. This must be done prior to finding out the result of the action intended by the roll. Once per short or long rest, you have advantage on one ability check and one saving throw of your choice. (By Ed_Radley)
Lust- Every person you meet of the opposite sex must make a dc10 wisdom saving throw or immediately try to seduce you from now on.
The Orchestra: summons 20 unseen servants that repeat everything you say/sing. If you cast a spell with a verbal component, it counts as being one level higher if applicable. You also have advantage on performance checks. The Unseen servants do not obey your commands and last until killed. (By Capt_Bread_Beard)
The Liar - you gain advantage on Deception checks but you are unable to tell the truth — your party has to roll Insight checks whenever you reveal to them information (By Researcher_Boi_314)
The Crystal: Your skin crystallizes. Your speed decreases by 5 feet and you are put under the effect of a stoneskin spell. (By ThanosHeffley)
Uno Reverse Card - Allows the user to hold up the card to deflect things back at the person who the card is facing, once per short or long rest. (By Abs0lutely_N0thing)
The Cornicopia: you no longer need to eat, drink, sleep, or breathe, and you do not age. (By Clickclacktheblueguy)
The Fates: You gain the Lucky feat, but you have also gained The Fates disdain. When you re-roll your dice using the Lucky feat roll an additional 1d4 and subtract it from your new roll. (By True_Empire91)
The Smith: This card immediately transforms into a +3 Warhammer that deals an additional 1d8 fire damage on a hit. The person who drew this card becomes proficient with Warhammers and loses all other weapon proficiencies. (By True_Empire91)
The Coin: Immediately after drawing this card the users hand is burned and takes 1d4 damage and drops the card as a reaction to the pain. As the card is falling to the floor it transforms into a coin. If the coin lands face up (Heads) the person who drew this card doubles the amount of currency they are carrying. If the coin lands face down (Tails) the person who drew this card has their currency vanish. The Coin itself is now worth 50gp. (By True_Empire91)
The Beast: Once per day, you can Wildshape. Upon transforming back into your normal self you take 1 point of Exhaustion. (By True_Empire91)
The Leviathan: A great beast has your scent. It will arrive in 1d10+5 days or at the DM’s choosing. Only you can slay the beast and all damage not caused by you directly or indirectly (such as through traps) is halved. (By Astr0C4t)
The Casino: You are transported to the demiplane of luck. This demiplane consists of a silver road in a desert with extravagant casinos glowing with displays of light against the permanent night sky. The casinos themselves are owned by the permanent residents of the plane, known as the Casino Barons. Barons include everything from human crime bosses to powerful wealthy monsters such as cloud giants, red dragons, and genies. The casino's appearances match with the baron or baroness who owns it. (By Sporedian)
The Blank: When you draw this blank card it begins to emit bright light and smoke, than dissapear along with whatever equipment you had on you. The card then drops to the floor. The next person to pick up the card sees a stylized image of you printed on it. They will recieve an item, ability, or personality trait from your character sheet at the GM's descretion. The effects can be reversed with a wish spell. (By Sporedian)
The hermit: You gain disavantage on any charisma checks. You gain advantage on any wisdom checks. Can be undone by a wish spell. (By awesomemanswag)
The Clock. You gain a small tattoo of an oddly-shaped arrow somewhere on your body. The tattoo is imbued with magical power, and will appear as a transmutation effect when viewed with Detect Magic. As an action, you may invoke this power to cast Time Stop. Once the spell ends, the power is lost forever. (By Ae3qe27u)
Judgement - you forever feel sickened when in the presence of evil-aligned people, and forever anxious around those of chaotic alignment. (By ergotofwhy)
Temperence - you can no longer feel intoxicated, no matter how much you drink. Furthermore, you are made immune to damage/drain of your int, wis, and cha, but also immune to effects that raise those abilities (By ergotofwhy)
The world - you are teleported to a random location on the other side of the world (By ergotofwhy)\
The Pack, 1d6 hell hounds come every 1d10 days to try and bring the person who drew the card down to the nine hells. The player can hear the howls, and is frightened for 1d4 rounds when they come. (By MeerkatArray)
The Blind Man: your character is now permanently blinded, physically losing their eyes, and gains tremorsense up to 30 feet. (By Silverdragon701)
The Artist: your character is now exceptionally skilled in a random art(painting, cooking, singing, etc.) and is known around the world for their talent. (By Silverdragon701)
The Fib: your character is now a pathological liar and must make a Wisdom saving throw to tell the truth about anything their audience doesn’t already know(I.E, can state the obvious, but must roll to explain a plan or tell a secret truthfully). (By Silverdragon701)
The goblin: Permanently gain +2 to dexterity and Constitution Permanently lose -2 to charisma and intelligence (By fwimmygoat)
The Mirror- whoever draws this card immediately understands to an instinctual, spiritual, emotional, and/or philosophical degree why their most hated enemy/enemies are the way they are and are doing what they're doing. They are able to completely sympathise. (By AndrewRequiem)
The behemoth- when next the character is slain in battle, they shall rise again with temporary hit points double that of the nearest healthy enemy. For the battle, they lose the ability to cast spells, but their Strength score temporarily increases to 30 (+10). When the last nearby enemy dies, they return to normal, and are rendered unconscious, but stable at 1 hit point. (By RollinThundaga)
The Mask: You immediately, and permanently change races into a random race. You retain all of your memories of your previous life, but lose all ability score changes and abilities your previous race granted you. You gain all ability score increases and/or abilities that this new race grants you. (NoireGarde)
dead weight - a 5 ton steel cube appears with shackle welded onto it. you are shackled to it. you cant move five feet from the cube until its shackle is removed. if it is removed, the cube and shackle disappear. (By Tobymaxgames
the fondler - you can cast mage hand if you couldn't before. this doesn't require a spell slot. (By Tobymaxgames)
the substrate - a boulder, weighing 3d12 tons appears in above a random person around you, and promptly falls down. its made of some type of metal ore. it its in your possession, and you may do what you will with it. (By Tobymaxgames)
the captain - if the drawer of the card owns some type of vehicle (cart, boat, etc.), they will physically merge with that vehicle. a wish spell is undo the merge. (By Tobymaxgames)
The Holdout - after drawing, the location you take a long rest at is converted into some type of fortified structure. the structure takes a form that makes scene for its location. a forest will grow a great tree fort. fields become palisade camps. mountains spring forth castles to rock the heavens. caves dig themselves out and become elaborate dungeons. the one who draws the card is considered the owner of this structure. however, 3d10 days later, the structure is attacked by some force. it can be a powerful wizard, a dragon, an ork warband, etc. if the structure is not defended, that force will destroy it. (By Tobymaxgames)
The Jinx - You are rendered mute until someone says your name three times. You cannot speak or cast any verbal spells during this time. (Your party does not know this). (By Jorster)
Greater Balance - The next time you roll a d20 and roll a critical success or fail, you receive an outcome beyond all expectations. The impossible happens despite all likelihood. Example: On a success, the Queen not only agrees with your theories and plans for the coming battle but trusts you over her advisors. On a fail, the Queen looks disgusted at your sad attempt of sharing information and banishes you to the dungeon for your ignorance just to get you out of the way. Should a critical success happen during combat, the number of damage dice is multiplied by 4 instead of 2, but if a critical fail happens, you or an ally are damaged by double the dice. This affect is a one time use. (By WitchDearbhail)
Null: The deck of many things vanishes. (By Sirvantis)
Discord: For the next hour your character cannot speak common, elvish, gnomish, dwarven, etc.(By Sirvantis)
Yes: For the next two weeks your character cannot decline any offers for samples, work, quests, magic items, etc. and cannot say the word "no" or similar. (By Sirvantis)
Butterflies: A force of immense change you may use this card to change one small moment in the past. This will have rippling effects through time to the present day. Choose wisely. (By faerieunderfoot)
The Damned- you are immediately teleported to one of the nine hells roll a D10 on the roll of a 10 you are trapped between two of the hells roll two more D10 and reroll all 10s. (By minecraftchickenman)
Surface: Your body and soul are bound to a random humanoid within 60 feet, determined by the GM. Your appearance changes to match that of the chosen humanoid and neither of you may move more then 120 feet away from each other, and attempting to do so will result in running against an invisible wall. A Greater Restoration or Remove Curse spell cast at 5th level or higher on either one of you ends both effects. (By Cruye)
Talking Head: You become incapable of saying, writing, or otherwise expressing a truthfull message instead, any attempt to do so will result in you telling a lie instead, usually the opposite of what you meant. You are not affected by the Zone of Truth spell, as these lies are not deliberate. A Greater Restoration or Remove Curse spell cast at 5th level or higher on either one of you ends the effect. (By Cruye)
Father: A Will-o'-Wisp (MM 301) with the memories, mental ability scores and alignment of a deceased relative appears within 10 feet and is bound to you as a familliar. The Will-o'-Wisp acts independently of you, but it always obeys your commands. In combat, it rolls its own initiative and acts on its own turn. It can't attack and loses the Shock action, but it can take other actions as normal. As an action, you can temporarily dismiss your familiar. It disappears into a pocket dimension where it awaits your summons. As an action while it is temporarily dismissed, you can cause it to reappear in any unoccupied space within 30 feet of you. If the Will-o'-Wisp dies, it is gone forever. (By Cruye)
Experience: Your mind speeds up, enhancing your senses and reflexes but leaving you more exposed to mental assault. You gain advantage on Dexterity saving throws and Wisdom (Perception) checks, but gain disadvantage on Wisdom saving throws and vulnerability to psychic damage. A Greater Restoration spell can end this effect. (By Cruye)
Door: A magical book appears in your posession, containing the entirety of your memories written on it's pages, even ones you have forgotten through non-magical means. The book updates itself whenever you finish a long rest. Turning a page will always take you to the memory you'd like to see, and the book will always appear to be the same size, regardless of how many pages it has. You or a creature that has stolen the book can modify your memory by writing on the book, either writing fake memories or crossing or tearing out real ones. If the book is completely destroyed, you lose all your memories for 1 week, before getting them back, excluding fake memories from the book, and including memories that were removed from the book. (By Cruye)
Diamond: You can cast the Creation, Greater Restoration, Mass Cure Wounds or Wall of Stone spells once per day. (By Cruye)
Company: You gain the service of twelve Guards (MM 347) who appear in a space you choose within 30 feet of you. The guards are of the same race as you and serve you loyally until death, believing the fates have drawn them to you. (By Cruye)
The Death Note- The first name that is written on this card immediately dies, no saving throw. (By warriornate)
The infant- Your character immediately turns into a newborn baby. (By warriornate)
The Mirror- An exact duplicate of the PC pulling this card is instantly created somewhere in the world. This copy has one purpose, to supplant the PC that pulled the card. The copy is indistinguishable from the PC in every visible way, and is physically in essence that PC. This copy differs only in that they believe that pulling the card sent them across the world and supplanted THEM with a copy located at the DOMT. This copy can accomplish supplanting the PC using any method (Violent, non violent, etc) that they wish as long as the final result is taking the place of the original PC. For rules purposes this created copy is the same level, class, and alignment as the PC that drew the card, and has access to all of the items that PC had on their person when drawing the Mirror. (By HimurasanX)
The Fish - The character reeks of fish in a way that cannot be masked or removed. Additionally, any dead fish with the Beast creature type that the character touches, comes back to life as if had the True Resurrection spell cast on it. All Kuo-Toa are made aware of and believe in this effect on the character making it unremovable, even against the wish spell, except by the complete genocide of all Kuo-Toa. (By TheDrunkenMagi)
Mystery - Something extraordinary has happened, but the players don't know what. The DM will roll randomly to determine if it is a good, bad, or neutral thing for the players and decide what it is in secret. Regardless of the roll the event will have a significant effect on the entire region (if not the whole world) and, upon encountering the event, the character who drew the card will be made aware drawing this card was the cause. (By TheDrunkenMagi)
Wayfinder - A gate to another dimension appears before the character. This gate connects to the GM's choice of Sigil, The Outlands, The Astral Plane, or another Material Plane. Regardless of the GM's choice, the other side of this gate is guarded by both an Androsphinx and a Gynosphinx that the players will need to bypass in order to freely pass through the gate. (By TheDrunkenMagi)
Destruction - 8 bolts of chaotic energy fly out of the card extremely fast and attack all creatures within a 120ft radius sphere centered on where the card was drawn. The bolts acquire targets randomly each round and make a single attack at initiative 20. The attack is a ranged spell attack with +7 to the attack roll and deal 2d8 + 6d6 damage. Each orb deals a different type of one these 8 damage types: Acid, Cold, Fire, Force, Lightning, Poison, Psychic, Thunder. The bolts cannot be harmed or dispelled, do not attack anything that leaves the sphere, and disappear after 1 minute. (By TheDrunkenMagi)
Creation - Immediately after drawing this card the player who drew it chooses one item that they can create as if they had cast the Fabrication spell and it appears before them. No material components for the crafted item are required and the casting time is instant. Players who don't know how to make anything can create a single item of raw materials such a log or cube of gold. They must still meet the dimension requirements of the Fabrication spell. (By TheDrunkenMagi)
Animosity - From now on all creatures the character encounters with intelligence 6 or greater are initially hostile towards the character. This effect does not change their opinion of the character's companions and does not necessarily mean they will attack on sight. (By TheDrunkenMagi)
Friendship - From now on all creatures the character encounters with intelligence 6 or greater are initially friendly towards the character. This effect does not change their opinion of the character's companions and does not mean they will treat them as an equal. (By TheDrunkenMagi)
The Dragon - The entire contents of the nearest dragon's horde is placed before you. Immediately after, the dragon is made aware of your name, appearance and current location. The dragon believes you culpable and cannot be convinced otherwise. (By rstarr13)
The Rose- the card puller gains a +3 to all charisma skill tests for 24 hours (By infinitum3d)
The Flood- a soft gentle rain slowly grows over the next hour into a torrential downpour that follows the card puller, centered over then the entire hour. (By infinitum3d)
The Fop- for one hour, you fail every skill test, attack roll, and saving throw. You cannot succeed at anything. (By infinitum3d)
The Reward- for one hour, you have the exact funds to purchase anything you want. Just reach into your backpack and the gold coins are there. (By infinitum3d)
The Flumph - After 1d4 hours a Flumph painlessly grows from your body and detaches itself. The Flumph is completely loyal to you and you gain the ability to communicate with it and other Flumphs telepathically. If a Flumph dies two more Flumphs will grow from your body in 1d4 hours; this process continues until you have accumulated twelve Flumps. When the twelveth Flumph dies you magically transform into a Flumphp yourself, keeping all your statistics and abilities. (By clivedauthi)
Granite skin: +2 AC, disadvantage on Dex saving throws as your skin becomes a hardy but unwieldy mottled grey colour (By sjeveburger)
The Elder: There are no immediate effects to drawing the card until you attempt to sleep, the further you lull to sleep the more a sense of dread begins to build. This effect ends until you sleep or die from exhaustion. If you do sleep your consciousness is transported to a unknown realm outside the material plane, this realm appears to be a endless slab of carved mossy stone ground, floating above a dark abyssal ocean. The only sight within miles being the faint outline of a pillar. You can get closer to the pillar every night before waking up, each night you walk towards the pillar your character loses 5 max hp. It takes 10 nights to get to the pillar, which depicts a large tentacled being with its appendages wrapped around the planes of existence. If you choose not to touch the pillar or give up before reaching it, you awake with your hit points back and a forever lingering sense of dread. If you touch the pillar, the slab begins to sink and you are consumed by water before you glimpse at hundreds of orange beady eyes and tentacles, then you wake up,with your hp back and with the ability to see the world as it truly is, along with the knowledge that something terrible and older than the universe has been unleashed. (By Ford6Fingers)
Open Chest: The image of an open box resting on the ground grants the person who drew the card a random magical item of random rarity determined by the DM using either the magic tables in the DMG or the DMs choice. (By equinox75)
Insignificance- You are placed under a modified version of the Silence spell for 1d8 hours (By ControlledChaosJR)
The Card - This card features the image of a card on it. It negates all effects of the next card you draw. (By The_Incredible_Thulk)
Beast - next full moon you will transform into a werewolf. (By Dan-Han-Man)
Self-Control: You gain resistance to psychic damage and are less impulsive overall. Barbarians temporary lose these effects when raging. (By Spearhartt)
Gentleness: You take a permanent -2 to your AC. All non-hostile creatures with an intelligence greater than 6 now take a paternal affection towards you and are more likely to offer you assistance when possible. You gain advantage on persuasion checks against hostile creatures when the goal of your persuasion is to prevent conflict. If you witness someone close to you get killed you lose all effects of this card and gain +2 AC and +2 Strength for 1D4 hours afterwards. (By Spearhartt)
Faithfulness: For the next 1D10 days, everything you do is motivated by your deity. If you do not follow a deity, one appears to you and anoints you as it’s new follower. The deity that appears is based on your alignment, race, and background, at the DM’s discretion. If you roll a 10, you gain the Channel Divinity feature at its lowest level, based on the domain associated with your deity. (By Spearhartt)
Kindness: You find yourself drawn towards charity. For the next 1D6 days, anytime you see someone or something in need and you can assist in any way, you feel compelled to do so. This includes things such as healing, giving away your money, or assisting in a task that doesn’t take longer than the duration rolled earlier. (By Spearhartt)
Patience: If you’re the last person to enter a room, speak in a conversation, or take your turn in combat, you gain advantage on your next skill check relevant to that scenario. If you are the first, you have disadvantage. (By Spearhartt)
Peace: You gain the Calm Emotions spell and can cast it for free once per long rest. (By Spearhartt)
Joy: You find yourself overcome with obnoxious optimism. No matter what happens you always feel like it’s going to turn out okay. You become immune to being frightened but gain disadvantage on insight checks. This can be dismissed by the wish spell or by being knocked unconscious by a hostile creature. (By Spearhartt)
Love: You fall in love with the next non-hostile humanoid stranger you meet. You have disadvantage on any malicious skill checks against this person. This can be dismissed by the Wish spell or an act of true love by someone else towards you. (By Spearhartt)
The Diminutive Tree: A random player character of the party is suddenly and unceremoniously turned into a bonsai tree. Only vocal communication is available while in the form of the bonsai. The bonsai speaks only Sylvan. The bonsai is otherwise an inanimate object. The PC retains their HP and is able to cast spells of vocal components or freecast. To revert from the bonsai, the tree must either be planted and grown for three days with plenty of water, or with a wish/miracle/etc. Otherwise the PC will remain a bonsai tree, incapable of thirst, hunger, aging, or sleep. (By RealRedditPerson)
The Changeling: You immediately exchange powers and abilities with the nearest person or creature with an equivalent power level (as determined by level / challenge rating. (By Methuen)
The Mind Reader - you gain the psychic abilities of an Illithid but also gain the face sucking tentacles. (By AllHailMackius)
The Ghost - You immediately become semi-transparent, along with all clothing and equipment that you don (items lose this state if contact is lost). You are unable to change your opacity beyond this; you cannot turn invisible, or be made more visible (except by means of a wish spell). (By vysken)
Platinum : All platinum you possess (wherever it is) is tripled, but teleported to the lair of a powerful monster or dragon. The name of the monster appears on the card before disappearing. (By Sunkain)
Gold : You double all Gold coin you possess on this plane (so not in a bag of holding) (By Sunkain)
Silver : You become vulnerable to silver weapons. When you touch silver at the end of your turn, you gain a level of exhaustion (By Sunkain)
Bronze : You can always choose to be third in the Initiative Order in combat (By Sunkain)
The Tolling Bell : Shows a tolling bell with the words of John Donne "Therefore, send not to know/For whom the bell tolls,/It tolls for thee." Throw 1d12. The one who holds the card will die at dawn in as much days. Each day they will here a bell ringing the number of days left. You can pass the card but only unbeknownst to the other person, you can't sell it. When the time is other, instead of waking up, the person will see a gigantic black bell with an eye in its center. It will toll one last time, and the soul of the person will be consumed by the bell. No resurection possible. A tatoo of a black bell will appear on the head of the dead. If it is a PC, the card will disappear. If the person is not the PC who drawed the card, the card will appear in their inventory at the very moment the bell had tolled. Throw 1d12. For whom will she toll now? (By TanhaAel)
The Prophet - When this card is pulled, a projection of that players Deity forms in front of them, telling your player that they have been chosen as that deities prophet (DM role plays the Deity projection). The twist is that there is no actual affect that is granted to the player, but the DM should NEVER reveal this to the player. If the player has no religion or doesn't worship any deities, instead the card shouts at the player "You are not worthy, heretic!" in a deep booming voice, and then disappears in their hand and goes back into the deck randomly. (By metalzim)
The changeling- your character dies and the spell reincarnation is cast on your character. (By Chopperuofl)
Envy- Rather than sharing in their victory, your PC becomes saddened at the successes of those closest to them. Every time a party member besides the players rolls a natural 20 on a skill check, you have disadvantage on your next skill check. (By a combination of Spearhartt and Dan-Han-Man)

Which mode will you most enjoy: A 2D mode vs 3D mode comparison (DQXIS)

Below I have compiled the main differences between 2D and 3D modes of DQXIS. Most people play in 3D, I'm sure, but there are benefits to 2D mode I'm sure many are unaware - hence why I'm compiling them here Feel free to post your own findings and I can verify/add them.
BE WARNED: there may be some minor spoilers below. I did my best to remove/censor any avoidable major spoilers.
3D mode benefits:
Multiple pep powers can be used in one "round" as each pepped character's turn comes up. (2D mode only allows 1 pep power per round, but it always goes first regardless of character speed)
You have a jump button. It can be used to skip some paths/climb over certain small barriers/fences to make shortcuts.
Cutscenes are skippable (2D mode forces them to play out, but they're more simplified than the 3D versions)
Duplicate recipes in chests give gold after mode switching (2D mode says "But you already know these recipes" like bookshelves)
HEALTH BARS. you know when characters are low on HP even if they're not quite below 50%/25% yet.
Versatility in switching out low HP members before they get wombo-combo'd mid round. (switching is only possible at the start of a round in 2D)
Can use Zoom indoors (Zoom fails indoors in 2D mode - including the Echo Chamber and houses of Tickington for 3D mode saves - saying "your head hits the ceiling")
The ability to adapt to the success/failure of other characters' attacks/buffs/debuffs and who takes heavy damage from enemy attack as each new character's turn comes up. (2D mode Fight Wisely adapts/correctly heals like this quite accurately, though. It also correctly uses weakelower MP attacks to finish off weak monsters and conserve MP in many cases.)
Reliable guides are available on item locations (Tockles, mini-medals, many chests, a couple NPCs, and most gathering nodes are often moved significant distances away in 2D mode compared to their 3D mode equivalents. I'm updating a PS4 spreadsheet here with Switch 3D and 2D mode data for those that care).
Day/night cycle is more visible and easier to control via camps/inns
You can literally walk around enemies to avoid fighting 99% of the time.
Ease of targeting specific enemies within a group in most cases. (2D mode only lets you target the group even on single-target attacks)
Similar enemies are always grouped, letting group-target moves like Sizz hit all of them (they're split by on-screen location/spawn cluster in 2D mode - meaning 4 Muddy Hands might appear as 2 groups of 2)
Trampling weak enemies on Mounts for free (albeit reduced) exp without needing to battle.
Preemptive attacks can reduce most enemies' HP just before battle (not possible in 2D mode due to random encounters).
Every area has a local map to examine (many secluded spots/forests/islands dont have an area map/minimap in 2D mode).
Tickington Mimics/Caniboxes reset if you return to 3D mode, then go back to Tickington - making it possible to easily farm infinite seeds of skill after reaching the Tockles in Act 1 Arboria/Act 2 Havens Above (they don't reset when leaving/returning in 2D mode)
Easy access to Handy Heal-all at the pause menu, plus commonly needed items on the '+' menu (2D mode requires you to select healing options under Misc and specific important items under the Items menu.
More regular slot/slime slot machines available. Slime slot girl gives overview of past odds/'hot property' status (NPC is not present in 2D)
Zoom can visit campsites you've interacted with in addition to major cities/etc. (2D mode limits Zoom to ONLY major cities and certain Inns/Ruins - but that gets mitigated by the ease of disembarking when sailing and gets fully remedied with a certain mode of flight in late Act 2)
Hidden chests are a little easier to find due to the ability to move the camera (a couple chests are hidden under bridges/etc in 2D mode with no clear indication an item is there. If you know the location from 3D mode, you'll usually find the chest when interacting while under the same bridge/etc.)
2D mode benefits:
Smaller world = faster progress
No special actions needed to climb/cross ledges/ladders/vines/narrow walkways/etc. Just walk up/across it.
Minimap can be hidden (and is hidden by default. Y cycles between hidden, minimap [if any], local map [if any], and world map)
Attack animations are shorter, thus 'fast' is on par with/faster than 3D mode's new max speed.
Actions in a rounds are not finalized immediately. As long as there's a character on Follow Orders that you haven't given an order to, you can go all the way back and re-chose for each character - including switching out members/changing tactics/picking a different Pep Power.
No turn loss occurs when switching characters, as the switch occurs after all characters have moved and before anyone takes their next turn.
Equipment with out-of-battle HP/MP/Exp gain attributes apply their effect every 'square' you walk (3D mode is over 20 times slower, applying only once every second or so when moving)
Can land boat on almost any exposed shore, making many areas more easily accessible after getting the boat
Flying on [Spoiler] lets you take off and land literally wherever - except on impassible areas like white mountains/water - and makes traveling the map super convenient (3D mode limits you to landing at specific glowing beacons and only allows taking off from Luminary's Landing if you dont step on special marks found only at waystations/floating islands)
Some items are accessible in earlier Acts (such as some medals/seeds otherwise behind magic/ultimate key doors in 3D mode)
Insane encounter rate means faster exp (excluding with the Reduced Exp DQ active vs weaker monsters)
Sparkly spots/gathering nodes re-appear faster than in 3D mode and unbuyable items are often more plentiful/appear in more sparkly spots
Pots and barrels occasionally restock small amounts of gold and [semi-]common crafting materials (3D mode pots/barrels never restock naturally without changing modes)
Item Drop rate (battle) seems to be slightly higher than in 3D mode - both with and without drop rate equipment.
Greater mixing of enemy species than 3D mode encounters thanks to random encounters. A few story battles have less/different enemies compared to the 3D mode equivalent battles (usually in segments you only have 1-2 party members, making Stronger Monsters more manageable at lower levels)
You can save/use the church's services in Tickington (in 3D mode the Tockle minister only sleeps)
Occasional Easter egg events at certain points in the story under Townsfolk Talk Tripe
Local enemy listings are visible for the specific floosection of an area your in including when in Tickington (3D mode only displays possible spawns for the entire area and prevents looking any up in Tickington). The one drawback is the few non-random encounters (enemies pacing on the map such as Orc Kings in Hekswood) won't show up on 2D modes local monster listings.
Almost ANY encounter with a mountable monster becomes mountable when defeated. Even then, mounts are not required to progress through most areas - only to reach chests/gathering nodes/sparkly spots/take certain shortcuts. (3D mode makes you look for specific sparkling monsters to ride and requires mounts to progress through many areas)
In the Trials, HM and MP restoring Goddess Statues appear at the start of any additional maps (in 3D mode, they're only in the otherwise empty paths between maps). This means you can heal/restore MP and farm in the second map of the Disciple's and Sage's Trials. The Luminary's Trial has a statue at its entrance but it does not restore HP/MP.
2D mode's Luminary's Trial is far more interesting than it's 3D mode counterpart. In 3D mode, its almost a clone of the Act 2 boss' castle. In 2D, the Castle is the hub, but you warp to various other dungeons (Hekswood, Mt Huji, etc.) as you work to progress.
Benefits from switching modes:
All chests (except those containing story items that you're supposed to have at the point you return to), pots, barrels, wardrobes, etc. reset when switching modes. This includes all non-quest reward Mini Medals. The one exception seems to be the chest containing the Meteorang, which remains empty in 3D mode after toggling to 2D and back. The 2D mode version of the chest contains a duplicate if you make your way to the proper location after getting it in 3D mode, though. Other duplication exploits exist for the item, though (see below).
Your inventory does not reset, meaning you can take endgame items back to early game events. Only story items you're not supposed to have yet get removed from your inventory (plus some shenanigans with the Sword of Light/Ultimate Key vanishing in Act 3 even when returning to places where you could have obtained them already). This leads to interesting duplication exploits for most items, including 'unique' non-Tickington quest rewards, horse race prizes, one-time Casino prizes, Wheel of Harma weapons, etc.
Pastwords obtained, completed quests, and Horse Racing/Wheel of Harma/one-time Casino prizes don't reset when traveling back via mode change, so you can't regain the first-time prizes again, but you CAN access Tickington areas during earlier events than the normal entry conditions - such as EXP grinding in Ruby Path of Doom after returning to Act 1.
There's also a item duplication exploit (its a fully intended feature of the game, so its not a bug) by returning to the past via mode switching, then abusing how the game restores the inventory from Avt 1 Arboria when reaching a similar point in Act 3.
Odd/unusual occurrences:
In 2D mode Eight comes with no panels unlocked, meaning you dont have to refund his trees you don't plan to use early. In 3D mode, he starts with 2 panels each unlocked in his shield tree/3 weapon trees.
In 2D mode, Erik doesn't refund/reset his SP/skill panels during his amnesia phase and has all his Act 1 panels when his memory returns. 3D mode completely refunds/resets his points/panels during this event, making you unlock everything again afterwards.
You can get an extra copy of the Sealicitor's Statutes in 2D mode after completing the quest "Justice is Brined" and switching modes (twice, if you started in 2D mode)
Sylvando somehow unsealed Gold Rush for me with only 3 nearby panels unlocked. No clue how to replicate this, but it happened - and if someone can figure out how to replicate it (especially on other characters) it could be quite useful for getting skills fastewith less total SP if speedrunning.
In 2D mode, the Lumen Essence needed for a certain task has moved south from its original location (from the original location: down the nearest vine to the Southwest, then immediately East to the stairs. Exit the cave on the floor below to find the chest)
Extra tips regardless of mode:
You can loop East/West or North/South when sailing or flying past the end of the map in both modes
Giving characters items they cant equip but with effects when used as an item in battle can let them use action they normally cant, such as giving Jade a Sage Stone to give a Multi-heal option or Erik a Wizard's Staff to let him use fire 'spells'. These item-based effects cost no MP and can bypass negative statuses like Fizzle and Ability Seal that prevent using the spell equivalents.
You can switch weapon/armoetc. any time in battle - including with equipment still in your bag. For example: you can have Erik use Boomerangs to inflict status vulnerability with Double Down, then switch to Daggers the next turn to use Cobra Strike to more easily poison a foe. Similarly, Eight can use Axes to inflict Defense Down with Scrap Mettle, then switch to a Greatsword and spam Unbridled Blade on the weakened enemy. Only healing items/weapons the character cant normally equip need to be prepared in character inventories before battle if you intend to use them.
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Sorting character inventories lets you dump most non-equipped items back to the item equipment bag at all once. Exceptions include weapons with effects (certain swords/daggers and most Heavy Wands that cast spell-equivalents when used as an item) when used as items and Yggdrasil leaves. For 2D mode this is done with the cursor in the character's inventory but for 3D mode it's a bit less obvious as its done with the character highlighted but not selected yet. If you try with the cursor on an item in the character's inventory in 3D mode, their items are simply sorted and none are placed back in the bag.
While all other Evolutionary Weapon chests reset when toggling to the other mode and back, the Meteorang chest does not. You can get a duplicate, however, by traveling to its location in the other mode (most easily done after forging the SoL or after the cutscene 'Remembrance' plays - which is a checkpoint in and of itself). Duplication by repeating the events between Act 1 Arboria -> the Act 3 return to Arboria with it in a character's inventory is also is an option.
I'll be adding any more benefits/quirks I find as I finish out my 2D run. Again, feel free to share any you've found that I missed

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