And suddenly, as I looked around, a crowd of people surrounded me. I was at the craps table, up $200. The die were hot that night. The people were cheering me on. “Lucky 7’s!”, they hollered. I cast the die one final time and...
Hold on hold on, before I get to the good stuff let me take you back to where this really began. It all really started about a month or two before. A good buddy of mine, Jimmy, had bought a poker set. You know, nothing too fancy. Jimmy was a simple guy, we’d invite the guys over to his garage, sip bourbon, hack cigs, and throw in some logs. Some nights, when there was more whiskey in us than water, we’d wager some money. Nothing big, you know? Just maybe a $10-$20 buy in. I was a decent player I’d say. For me though, it wasn’t really about the money. I enjoyed the thrill of it, watching the river turn, going all in on a bluff when all I would have is a dirty pair of 2’s. Stuff of that sort. Soon we got into things like blackjack, and eventually we bought some old rickety roulette board that could barely spin on its axis. But it worked, none the less. I enjoyed watching the ball dance between red and black when I’d have some $25 placed on red. I always loved red, that color never did me wrong. Things continued like this for the next month. It wasn’t long before I was up a few bucks, and I started to get it in me that it was time to hit the big leagues. There was a casino in our small town not too far from where we lived. And I had a shitty old fake from Missouri. Birth year was 98, and the name was Phil. I don’t know why, but I always liked that name. So I headed to the gambling joint to dance in the devil’s playground. Upon my arrival, I was bombarded with bright lights, sweet aromas wafting from the diners, and a feeling of excitement arose within me. I wanted to fit in, so I wore a leather jacket, white washed jeans, and my nicest pair of boots. I handed the chump at the front desk my fake, and to my surprise I breezed right by. I was in. Now from the snippets of a book I had bought, and a handful of youtube videos, I learned craps gives you the best odds. So I decided to go to the craps table. I started off small. $5 bets, $10, and before I knew it I was up quite a bit. People started to watch me, enjoying this young kid run it up at the table. The old men liked my spirit, and in between roles I had some casino skanks flirting with me and offering me drinks. I was having the time of my life. I was up $200 in the blink of an eye, when all I came there with was a crumpled 20 and a dream. I decided to place a $100 bet on 7’s, I was feeling myself. I was shaking up the die, ready for a roll. People were excited, and hell, even the worker at the table was enjoying it. Then, as I cast the die, a hand snatched me by my arm. I heard a voice say, “Phil, huh? Yeah, you’re coming with me.” I turned, and it was a state trooper with black shades on.

And suddenly, as I looked around, a crowd of people surrounded me. I was at the craps table, up $200. The die were hot that night. The people were cheering me on. “Lucky 7’s!”, they hollered. I cast the die one final time and...
Hold on hold on, before I get to the good stuff let me take you back to where this really began. It all really started about a month or two before. A good buddy of mine, Jimmy, had bought a poker set. You know, nothing too fancy. Jimmy was a simple guy, we’d invite the guys over to his garage, sip bourbon, hack cigs, and throw in some logs. Some nights, when there was more whiskey in us than water, we’d wager some money. Nothing big, you know? Just maybe a $10-$20 buy in. I was a decent player I’d say. For me though, it wasn’t really about the money. I enjoyed the thrill of it, watching the river turn, going all in on a bluff when all I would have is a dirty pair of 2’s. Stuff of that sort. Soon we got into things like blackjack, and eventually we bought some old rickety roulette board that could barely spin on its axis. But it worked, none the less. I enjoyed watching the ball dance between red and black when I’d have some $25 placed on red. I always loved red, that color never did me wrong. Things continued like this for the next month. It wasn’t long before I was up a few bucks, and I started to get it in me that it was time to hit the big leagues. There was a casino in our small town not too far from where we lived. And I had a shitty old fake from Missouri. Birth year was 98, and the name was Phil. I don’t know why, but I always liked that name. So I headed to the gambling joint to dance in the devil’s playground. Upon my arrival, I was bombarded with bright lights, sweet aromas wafting from the diners, and a feeling of excitement arose within me. I wanted to fit in, so I wore a leather jacket, white washed jeans, and my nicest pair of boots. I handed the chump at the front desk my fake, and to my surprise I breezed right by. I was in. Now from the snippets of a book I had bought, and a handful of youtube videos, I learned craps gives you the best odds. So I decided to go to the craps table. I started off small. $5 bets, $10, and before I knew it I was up quite a bit. People started to watch me, enjoying this young kid run it up at the table. The old men liked my spirit, and in between roles I had some casino skanks flirting with me and offering me drinks. I was having the time of my life. I was up $200 in the blink of an eye, when all I came there with was a crumpled 20 and a dream. I decided to place a $100 bet on 7’s, I was feeling myself. I was shaking up the die, ready for a roll. People were excited, and hell, even the worker at the table was enjoying it. Then, as I cast the die, a hand snatched me by my arm. I heard a voice say, “Phil, huh? Yeah, you’re coming with me.” I turned, and it was a state trooper with black shades on.

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Quoted from the original post:

So there’s this OCD-fuelled thing I do with the music of several of my favourite artists, and that is to compile collections of customised albums that

1. contain as many of the artists’ songs (including songs not released on albums) as possible, moreorless chronologically (while omitting the occasional songs that I moreorless can’t stand (typically certain remixes), or which are redundant or that I didn’t have space for and didn’t mind sacrificing),
2. have fluid seamless transitions between all tracks (my favourite part), and
3. extend the albums to all have an equal number of tracks (OCD-fuelled, as I’ve said).

Sometimes, with enough non-album songs, I compile completely new albums. In the case of Linkin Park, there were enough non-album tracks that every single main album has a “companion album” of the same length (in three cases, this is in fact a remix album).

I'll be posting one album (or a pair in most cases, when there's a companion album) per day.
Please have a listen - feedback would be appreciated! :)
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Hunting of a Thousand Things

[Linkin Park custom album #27 - 30]
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Tracklist:
Vol. 1

• 01 - 808er
• 02 - Atari Techno
• 03 - GBSong1
• 04 - Sakura
• 05 - Heretic
• 06 - Leopard
• 07 - Stone
• 08 - Milk
• 09 - Headbutt
• 10 - Cookie Monster
• 11 - Pizzaria
• 12 - DBY
• 13 - Aub
• 14 - River
• 15 - Airborne
• 16 - Fugitive
• 17 - Pablo
• 18 - Insect
• 19 - Qua
• 20 - MJ

Vol. 2

• 01 - Asteroids
• 02 - Album4SNDS
• 03 - Holding Co
• 04 - Gamma Ray
• 05 - PacmannyNew (Blackout Demo)
• 06 - Blacklight
• 07 - Invader
• 08 - Maschine MS Test2
• 09 - Burberry (Space Station Demo)
• 10 - Casino
• 11 - Cool EFX
• 12 - Horizons
• 13 - Iridescent (ProtoDemo)
• 14 - Plastic
• 15 - Sushi
• 16 - Chocolate
• 17 - Killing Fields
• 18 - Thumper
• 19 - Megatron (New Divide Demo)
• 20 - Victory March

Vol. 3

• 01 - Recharged
• 02 - Luna (It Goes Through Demo)
• 03 - Bottles
• 04 - Sono
• 05 - JoBurg
• 06 - Turtles
• 07 - Ryu1 Turtles3
• 08 - Ryu3
• 09 - Florida
• 10 - Trinity
• 11 - Jackboot
• 12 - Digi Folk
• 13 - Sendai
• 14 - Lorax
• 15 - Dance Rock
• 16 - Fois Gras
• 17 - Basket
• 18 - Castle of Glass Remix2
• 19 - Control
• 20 - Lifejacket

Vol. 4

• 01 - Apes
• 02 - Apes Bounce
• 03 - Quick
• 04 - Confetti
• 05 - Ody
• 06 - GATS
• 07 - Quazar
• 08 - Gnarly Tribal
• 09 - Morello2
• 10 - Greysky
• 11 - Rooster
• 12 - Axis Arp
• 13 - Axis Pulse
• 14 - Monday
• 15 - Clock
• 16 - Tick Tock
• 17 - Auckland2013
• 18 - West Reverse
• 19 - Graves
• 20 - Spotify

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Information:
Background:
In 2019, fans compiled and released Hybrid Party of a Thousand Things, a large compendium of previously unheard demos salvaged from a couple of Mike's old harddrives (and painstakingly put together by said fans). It consists of "discs" of demos for Hybrid Theory, A Thousand Suns, Living Things, and The Hunting Party, as well as a bonus disc containing LP's Stagelight tracks (of which a few had already made it onto previous custom albums).
Of the 233 tracks on the compilation, 80 were deemed worthy of inclusion on my LP custom albums. I decided to compile them as their own custom albums, in the vein of Mike's Dropped Frames series, and place then between Amends and Dropped Frames (as a sort of buffer between those two). Since most of the tracks are really short (many shorter than 10 seconds), I decided to break the pattern of the previous custom albums (single or pairs of 16-track albums) and do a set of four 20-track volumes.
Some good tracks were not included as they were used almost sound for sound in songs already on previous custom albums.
Title: Derived from "Hybrid Party of a Thousand Things", but without "Hybrid" as only one single track from the Hybrid Theory demos made it onto the albums.
Arrangement: Volume 1 is meant to be reminiscent of old school Linkin Park, Volume 2 of A Thousand Suns, Volume 3 of Living Things, and Volume 4 of The Hunting Party. However, most of these demos on all four volumes are from either Living Things or Stagelight, which had the most material on HPoaTT. Only a single Hybrid Theory demo made it only the albums, and that is Qua on Vol. 1.
Combined and rearranged tracks:

• Invader: Placed both versions of the demo, Denver and Invader, together as one track.
• Recharged: Combined both versions of the demo, Recharged and Recharge Theme 1 as one track.
• Jackboot: Combined both versions of the demo, Jackboot and Jackboot Stone Cyn as one track.
• Fois Gras: Combined both versions of the demo, Fois Gras and Fois Gras 2 as one track.
• Casino: Combined both versions of the demo, a drum track and a synth track, into one track, by playing first the drum track, then the drums overlaid with the synths, then the synths on their own.
• Insect: Repeated the drum part of the track over the melody part of the track.
• PacmannyNew: The most thorough edit, arranged and overlaid the various sound snippest of the track into a song.
• Megatron: Repeated the drum part of the track over the synth part of the track, and the keyboard part over that.

Note on quality: Many tracks included on these albums were very soft to begin with. Sadly, on a few of them raising the volume distorted the sound on the heavier beats. I tried a few different ways of raising the volume and ended up with the same results. Unfortunately this was the best I could do at present, but I will attempt a better quality redo eventually, provided I find a way to do so.
Note on transitions between volumes: Since the four volumes altogether only amount to one hour and ten minutes, I decided to treat it sort of as one long custom album, with flowing seamless transitions between each volume.
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Listen on Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/500070774/f1ae4e706f
Download: (Message me)
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In mythologies like the Greek or Norse, Gods and some monsters are personifications of aspects, like Zeus and the Lightning ( all Lightning comes from Zeus' weapon ) or the monster Typhon and his catastrophes, or Uranus who is the sky.
So is it similar in Konosuba?
Kazuma believes that he could only win the casinos in Elroad because Eris ( The Luck ) was backing him up and if he tries to gain money for a selfish reason Eris would block his luck.
We know that when you worship a God you gain a bit of the aspect of his power, like Luck buff with Eris Church or the Revenge Blessing from Regina.
In Bakuen, Cecily says that all water comes from the Goddess of Water, quote: "Water the rice fields! Where did the water come from? …That’s right! It came from the rain blessed by Aqua-sama, the goddess of water."
End quote.
You could say that it was BS from an Axis Cultist, but we know from canon that it is true, in the Aqua SS that came out before her V17 SS that it's about it.
In the new WN SS, Eris says, quote: “Y-You don’t really have much respect for gods, do you… Aqua-san is a really powerful and important goddess, you know? No one can live without water. Everyone takes getting fresh water every day for granted, that’s why no one respects her very much".
End quote.
She basically says that without Aqua there would be no water at all and the Konosuba world isn't even Aqua's world.
And this supports the the LN canon as I previously mentioned as it isn't WN-only, when it is explained that you cannot summon water from nothing, all water in the world has always the same volume, however as the Goddess of Water Aqua can make new water from nothing and even give people dolls that summons rain too.
Quote: There hasn’t been any rain recently, so it seems like the fields around town are starting to experience a shortage of water.
However, magic exists in this world.
They could just get a few magic users here and solve the problem with a few applications of Create Water.
“Kazuma, magic doesn’t create water out of nothing, you know? Create Water and similar spells just gathers up water from the area using magic."
… Yeah, if you can create an infinite amount of water from nothing, the amount of water in the world would steadily increase until it eventually turns the entire planet into a ball of water.
This world is under the guidance of a goddess, after all. I’m sure they set up such limits to prevent the world from being destroyed so easily.
End quote.
Aqua even says that although she knows it about water she has no idea about Create Earth as she isn't thr Goddess of Earth or something.
Eventually Aqua summons rain through divine power and not magic and fix the problem, quote:
Eventually, we fled from the massive downpour that descended over the fields and praised Aqua who managed to be useful for once–
A few days later.
The Axis Cult gained a new follower after Aqua gave him a teruteru Aqua, that she made while she was bored, that could call down rain by being turned upside down, but that’s a story for a different time.
End quote.
Now about Devils, I'd say the same thing applies to at least Duke of Hells.
Vanir then would be the personification of Foresight as the Devil of Foresight and all things related to that comes from Vanir. Just as Aqua giving a Aqua doll that summons rain, Vanir can make Vanir dolls that have a bit of his power, even his masks will grant you a buff.
In Bakuen, in the same way Cecily says that all water comes from Aqua, she mentions that it's well known that Soketto's Divination Powers have a diabolic source, quote: "I heard that the powerful diviner from the Crimson Demon Village is always accurate in her predictions. According to what I’ve heard, she used suspicious diabolic power to see the future and perform intricate divination."
Just like all Gods are Gods of something, the two Dukes of Hell we met were Dukes of something, if the same rule applies to Devils, wouldn't all Foresight related things come from Vanir as he is the personification/the Devil of Foresight and Soketto is channeling Vanir's power? We know from Hoost that Komekko if became a skilled enough Mage would be able to even summon him and Foresight just like Aqua or Luck isn't exactly regular magic.
My point with all of this is to say that, just as Eris says that no one lives without water and people have water daily because of Aqua, would that mean that if a God is killed, his dominion/aspect would cease to exist too?
If Aqua dies, does that mean no more water in all worlds? If Eris dies there's no more Luck? Kazuma would lose his Luck? If the same applies to Devils, would Soketto lose her job as she won't be able to tell the future anymore if Vanir dies?
Would all the worlds be affected in a catastrophic way if a God/Devil of something dies? What would have been the consequences if Chomusuke wasn't fine after Wolbach died? Would all NEETs stop being lazy and no one else would become violent after her death? She's the Goddess of Sloth and Violence after all.
Would the war between Heaven and Hell described on Vanir's Spin-off have stopped because the existence of Gods and Dukes of Hell are necessary for the balance or something? As if one with an important aspect dies things would get bad.
Vanir clearly dislikes Aqua and had many chances to kill her like when she sleeps in front of him but not only he never does anything but when Aqua left Axel to the DK Castle he took drastic measures to help Kazuma and ensure he would be able to save her.
Without water the humans Vanir likes to use as food would soon vanish and he would definitely hate that.
So many questions...

Hi!
So, I had an idea to have a constantly - relocating wizard mansion. It will pop up in random places; sometimes in vacant spots in cities, sometimes in the wilderness somewhere. PCs could hear excited whispers from travelers on the road and merchants in cities (did you hear the Wizard's Mansion popped up around X? I wonder what they have this time).
The mansion is full of rooms, and is much bigger on the inside than the outside. Upon entering the main door, the PCs end up in a large circular landing with 3 long (seemingly infinite) hallways branching off of it with doors on either sides.
Each of these rooms lead to completely random things. They can be shops with weird items, pointless rooms, rooms that lock you in unless you answer a question or solve a riddle, etc.

1. Shop with a haggard-looking wizard. Boasts 2d12 uncommon items, 1d12 rare items, and 1d4 legendary items.
2. Empty room, save for a single wooden chair in the middle. If the PC sits in the chair, it rapidly tips over and fires the PC directly out of the room
3. A bustling tavern; anyone who enters is challenged to a drinking contest. Winners get 4d100gp and a small poorly-made paper crown
4. a "casino" - PCs enter a room that has lots of gambling activities going on (include any DnD/RPG gambling games you'd like)
5. Room is wonderfully adorned, but an old haggard woman lies on a bed in the center. Woman becomes enamored with PC, and refuses to let him/her leave until he/she tricks the woman into letting them leave (ex: I'll be back in just a moment my love, just going to slip into something more comfortable) - fun RP opportunity
6. The room smells strangely good, inside there is a friendly copper dragon. If you decide to talk to him, the conversation will seem to go on forever. Every time it starts to get boring he will say/ask/point out something interesting that will keep it going. You can leave anytime but you won't want to. CAPShidra
7. Room full of piles of unorganized gold coins. Coins disappear if they leave the room. MakingReady
8. A museum of historically accurate uniforms of armies long past. MakingReady
9. A cage with an umber hulk inside it. MakingReady
10. A shrine to a god of secrets, all the candles burned down to stubs. MakingReady
11. A hall of mirrors. MakingReady
12. A kitchen where ghosts are constantly cooking delicious cakes. MakingReady
13. A library, but every book is about astrology and vague prophecies. MakingReady
14. A room with the singular purpose of being a perfect mansion for a penguin. Complete with ice slide, ice floor, fishing place, a warming spot, ventilation, and ways to entertain himself. The penguin can be smart or a pet. TheWoodcarveree
15. a room with an open empty box on the floor next to a fallen pedastal. A sign reads "do NOT open" GregMcGregFace
16. menagerie of strange and likely dangerous animals. GregMcGregFace
17. a small library room. Interacting with anything will activate a swarm of books (construct) to attack GregMcGregFace
18. two familiars given conflicting tasks (organise by title Vs organise by author) they've been here for a long time GregMcGregFace
19. a guardian holding a giant book of riddles. He will not let you leave unless YOU tell HIM a riddle that he cannot answer. If successful he jots it into his book GregMcGregFace
20. a chest in the center of the room, a sign beside it reads "Warning: this is a MIMIC!" ( The sign is the mimic) GregMcGregFace
21. the door reads "under construction", leads to an endless black abyss GregMcGregFace
22. a tiny devil in a bottle, willing to promise anything to be let out, but he has no special skills GregMcGregFace
23. A mirror in the center of the room. The mirror version of only one party member acts strangely, insisting that they were put in the mirror two days ago "by that imposter!" GregMcGregFace
24. a room containing a small diorama of itself, including any party members that enter, and an even smaller diorama inside the first GregMcGregFace
25. A room with beautiful stained-glass windows showing different scene. Read in order, they tell a joke or short story. Samlefomas
26. The wizard's wardrobe. Some of it is formal wear, some is outrageous party costumes. Hidden in a dirty box under some shoes is a Robe of the Archmagi, but good luck finding it. Samlefomas
27. A room with a door that enters on one side, and a door opposite that only leads back in to the same room (like portals from the games). To leave the room you must exit backwards via the door you came in. Samlefomas
28. The zero-g room. Pressing a button on the wall activates two runes of reverse gravity, one on the floor and one on the ceiling, meaning you 'float' in the middle for a minute. Samlefomas
29. A lavish, traditional living room, like you'd find in a castle. The difference is that everything is a poor knock-off. The paintings are finger paintings, the tables are made of balsa wood, if you light the fire place the rest of the room may go up in flames, etc. Samlefomas
30. The Necromancer’s Theater: an operatic theater where undead will perform theatrical routines, dances, and songs when possible. Shmegdar
31. A normal bedroom except everything in it is on the ceiling instead of the floor Shmegdar
32. a very large room full of magically moving mechanical contraptions, such as animated minecarts, a wheel with seats, and horselike statues that revolve around an axis of mirrors (an amusement park) Shmegdar
33. A kitchen except everything (and I mean everything) in it has a humanoid face on it, living or not. Mostly nothing in the room is alive or sentient, but I wouldn’t rule out the possibility Shmegdar
34. A room that leads to the outside of the wizards mansion, but this was not the exit or the entrance killllllllllmeeeeee
35. A room where a gaint war table sits in the middle made of nothing but flowing ale and ludicrous battles killllllllllmeeeeee
36. A room that leads to large tapestries and monoliths, that depict strange ships in the sky, a picture of some kind of 4-ringed circle in the middle that all connect to a central point. With millions... no billions of tiny dots, with borders of counties that don't exist and technology that hasn't been thought of... battles in the void of space and planets with undeciferable names. It's so ludicrous that it shouldn't be possible...Surely. killllllllllmeeeeee
37. A portal that leads to the middle of a desert, for no particular reason. killllllllllmeeeeee
38. A room with a room in it, and so on killllllllllmeeeeee
39. A staircase that always goes up and always goes down, never ends. killllllllllmeeeeee

Source: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
IM: We are now in a position where we can choose the level of suffering in the entire living world, why do it?
DP: Around 850,000 or so people worldwide take their own lives each year. Tens of millions self-harm. Hundreds of millions are chronically depressed. These grim figures are just the tip of an iceberg of misery. Words and statistics can’t begin to convey the awfulness of suffering. Yet there is hope. For the first time in history, biotechnology turns the level of suffering in the living world into an adjustable parameter. The biosphere is programmable. Even a handful of genetic tweaks could massively reduce the level of suffering in the world. If used wisely, a combination of artificial intelligence, genetic engineering and synthetic gene drives could eradicate experience below “hedonic zero” altogether. Life on Earth deserves a more civilised signalling system – a motivational architecture based entirely on information-sensitive gradients of well-being. Today, a few fortunate genetic outliers enjoy hints of how such an architecture of mind will function. In future, life based on gradients of intelligent bliss can be the global norm. CRISPR makes paradise-engineering technically feasible.
On a more sober note, the easiest way to reduce to reduce suffering in the world doesn’t rely on gene editing, advanced technology or posthuman superintelligence. The biggest source of severe and readily avoidable suffering today is animal agriculture. Factory-farming is inherently abusive. Factory-farms and slaughterhouses are morally indefensible. Our victims are as sentient as small children, and they should be treated accordingly. The death-factories must be permanently closed and outlawed. Any civilisation worthy of the name will be invitrotarian or vegan.
IM: Isn’t suffering a necessary part of life?
DP: Misery and malaise are so common that it’s easy to believe they are integral to life itself. Gautama Buddha’s “Life is suffering” sounds like a simplistic slogan to temperamentally optimistic life-lovers; but for billions of human and nonhuman animals, it’s true. For over 540 million years, suffering has been endemic to the animal kingdom. A predisposition to mental and physical pain has been genetically adaptive. Discontent promotes the inclusive fitness of our genes. Evolution via natural selection is underpinned by random mutations and the genetic casino of sexual reproduction. Natural selection is “blind” and amoral. But a revolution in genome-editing promises to transform the nature of selection pressure. Parents will shortly be able genetically to choose the pain thresholds, hedonic range and hedonic set-points of their future children. Prospective parents will pick genes and allelic combinations in anticipation of the likely effects of their choices. As the reproductive revolution unfolds, selection pressure in favour of “happy” genes will intensify at the expense of their nastier cousins. Barring revolutionary breakthroughs, growth in subjective wellbeing may only be linear rather than exponential; but genetic engineering plus the pleasure principle are a potent mix.
IM: If we do raise the hedonic range, do we lose other values/attributes worth keeping?
DP: Engineering a world of indiscriminate bliss wouldn’t merely be risky. Uniform bliss would undermine human relationships, social responsibility, personal growth and intellectual progress. Most people aren’t classical utilitarians: getting “blissed out” would entail losing a lot of what we value as well as the miseries we hate. By contrast, ratcheting up hedonic range and hedonic set-points doesn’t entail adjudicating between different secular and religious values or sacrificing anything we hold dear. Hedonic recalibration doesn’t subvert existing preference architectures. An elevated hedonic set-point can also enhance the diversity of experience; compare how depressives tend to get “stuck in a rut”. Information-sensitive gradients of well-being can preserve what humans find valuable while enriching our default quality of life. Hedonic uplift will vanquish the feelings of emptiness, futility and nihilistic despair that stain so many lives today. Post-Darwinian life based on gradients of bliss will be saturated with meaning, purpose and significance.
For sure, there are tons of complications. The biohappiness revolution will be messy. We’d do well to preserve the functional analogues of depressive realism. But the basic point stands.
IM: How is genetic engineering different from eugenics?
DP: Just as the Soviet experiment polluted the whole language of social justice, likewise the early twentieth-century eugenics movement polluted the whole language of genetic health. Consider the commitment to the well-being of all sentience enshrined in the Transhumanist Declaration (1998, 2009), or the World Health Organisation’s definition of health as set out in its founding constitution (1948): “a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.” Lifelong health as so defined is impossible with a Darwinian genome. A living world where all sentient beings are innately healthy can be created only via genetic engineering. Societal reform on its own can’t manufacture the molecular substrates of happiness. Etymologically speaking, transhuman civilisation will be the product of eugenics. So in that sense, the critics are right. But genetically engineering the well-being of all sentience is far removed from the coercive “eugenics” and race hygiene policy of the Third Reich.
That said, a multitude of legal of legal and ethical safeguards will be essential to navigate the transition to post-Darwinian life – humans are untrustworthy creatures. Not least, we should uphold and extend the sanctity of life.
IM: How do we ensure genetic engineering is used safely?
DP: All genetic experimentation is inherently risky, not least the gamble of having children. Antinatalists might support a hundred-year moratorium on untested genetic experiments; but such prudence is unrealistic. For evolutionary reasons, most people are determined to have children via sexual reproduction. So we should focus on minimising the risks of such genetic experimentation. Let’s try to balance risk-reward ratios. Preimplantation genetic screening will be hugely cost-effective. Later this century, all babies could and should be CRISPR babies. In the meantime, access to preimplantation genetic screening and counselling ought to be universal.
For example, consider the genetic dial-settings that regulate pain-sensitivity. What level of pain tolerance is optimal for our future children – and our older selves? Even now, medical science could eradicate pain altogether simply by knocking out the SCN9A gene – the so-called “volume knob” for pain. However, instant eradication of pain is too hazardous. SCN9A-knockouts would lack not just the ghastly experience of pain but also the vital function of nociception. Children with congenital analgesia need to lead a cotton-wool existence or else they come to serious harm. For now, choosing benign “low pain” alleles for our offspring is much safer. In tomorrow’s world of advanced AI and neuroprostheses, even the mildest “raw feels” of pain could be abolished. In the meantime, we can ensure that new children (and maybe our future selves) have the same exceptionally high pain-tolerance of today’s high-functioning genetic outliers: folk who say things like “Pain is just a useful signalling mechanism.”
IM: Should we still pursue genetic engineering if there was peace on earth?
DP: Suicide rates typically go down in wartime. There isn’t peace on Earth for the same reason there isn’t peace among chimpanzee troops. Nature “designed” human male primates to (be genetically predisposed to) wage territorial wars of aggression against other coalitions of male primates. Let’s assume, optimistically, that we can prevent future armed conflict without any of the biological-genetic interventions discussed here. The negative-feedback mechanisms of the hedonic treadmill would ensure that countless people would continue to suffer – even in a peaceful world without war, poverty and disease. By its very nature, Darwinian life is sentient malware. Only a biohappiness revolution can fix our sinister source code for good.
IM: What other types of human enhancement technologies will considerably affect the nature of humans?
DP: Safe and sustainable analogues of empathetic euphoriants like “hug drug” MDMA will revolutionise human relationships. Compare the quasi-psychopathic indifference to most other sentient beings that humans display now.
Robolovers, sexbots and designer aphrodisiacs will revolutionise sexual experience.
Novel psychedelics, novel genes and novel neurons will open up billions of state-spaces of consciousness as different from each other as waking life is different from dreaming life.
“Augmented” reality will be followed by full-blown multimodal immersive virtual reality.
“Narrow” superintelligence-on-a-neurochip will be accessible to all; with digital intelligence implants, sentient beings can do everything machine intelligence can do and more.
Opt-out cryonics, opt-in cryothanasia, and finally tools to defeat the biology of aging altogether will transform our conception of life and death. Transhumans will be quasi-immortal.
But in my view, mastery of the pleasure-pain axis will inaugurate the biggest revolution of all. The end of suffering promises an ethical watershed. Invincible well-being for all sentience will mark a momentous evolutionary transition in the development of life.
IM: What are some ethical considerations worth arguing about at this stage?
DP: As a transhumanist, I look forward to a glorious “triple S” civilisation of Superhappiness, Superlongevity and Superintelligence. But more concretely, I’d like to see a coordinated hundred-year Plan to overcome suffering throughout the living world under the auspices of the World Health Organization. Here are four policy proposals for a Biohappiness Revolution:

• Accelerate the development and commercialisation of cultured meat. Close and outlaw factory-farms and slaughterhouses. Rehabilitate the surviving victims.
  
• Genetically raise pain-tolerance. Genetically recalibrate the hedonic treadmill. Create life based on gradients of intelligent bliss.
  
• Offer CRISPR gene-therapy and preimplantation genetic screening and counselling to all prospective parents.
  
• Spread low-pain “happy genes” across the biosphere with CRISPR-based synthetic gene drives that cheat the “laws” of Mendelian inheritance.
  

At times, Darwinian life can be desperately grim. Yet depressive, pain-ridden people shouldn’t feel their lives are worthless. Even malaise-ridden lives can be valuable if one prevents more suffering than one undergoes. We should all aspire to be not just transhumanists but also effective altruists. Let’s use biotechnology to phase out suffering. Humans are stepping-stones to something better – something inconceivably sublime.
IM: In 2015, Bill Gates gave a chilling warning on a TED Talk that the world was in danger due to global pandemics or bioterrorism. These predictions have raised conspiracy theories that Bill is responsible for creating the novel coronavirus and the reason for his interest in developing a vaccine treatment. There are also conspiracy theories circulating about 5G technology being connected to the spread of the novel coronavirus which has led to the recent burning of 5G towers in the UK. Conversations about the use of microchips and biometrics in order to prevent future epidemics are also fueling conspiracy paranoia. Are these fears reasonable? Do they serve an evolutionary purpose or detriment?
DP: “Only the paranoid survive”, said Intel boss Andy Grove. There’s a lot that medical science still doesn’t understand about the pandemic viral respiratory illness COVID-19. However, the new corona virus was not created by Bill Gates, nor is it spread by 5G towers. Nor is it a bioweapon. The truth is more sinister. COVID-19 is a by-product of humanity’s monstrous treatment of nonhuman animals. Zoonotic disease and consequent global pandemics are inevitable as long as humans practise meat-eating. Animal abuse is catastrophic for humans and our victims. Details of the spillover infection in a dirty Wuhan meat market in November 2019 are still murky; but this viral pandemic would not have happened if humans didn’t practise animal agriculture – and then butcher sentient beings to gratify a gruesome taste for their flesh. Rather than being the villain of the piece, Bill Gates is a sponsor of “clean” cultured meat. The cultured meat revolution promises to end zoonotic pandemics, save billions of nonhuman and human animal lives, and yield cost-savings of tens of trillions of dollars by preventing future pandemics. Yet human health and safety needn’t wait for the commercialisation of cruelty-free cultured meat and animal products. Wet markets, vivisection labs, factory-farms and slaughterhouses are crimes against sentience; they should be outlawed. Future civilisation will be vegan.
IM: Humanity’s self-sabotaging nature exists in many forms. One, in particular, a form of self-assertion by denying, ignoring, or attacking what others consider to be true - the fear of others - is as subtle and universal as it is destructive. This form of self-defense mechanism so prevalent in modern society prevents people from establishing effective communication channels that are all-encompassing, flexible, and effective, in particular towards problem-solving. Could humans ever turn mindfulness, gratitude, hope, and a sense of solidarity into sustainable practices?
DP: Evolution didn’t “design” humans to be nice to each other – except insofar as friendliness promoted the inclusive fitness of their genes. Some transhumanists worry about the spectre of unfriendly artificial general intelligence; but our biggest challenge is creating sentience-friendly biological intelligence. Maybe the shock of COVID-19 will help persuade killer apes to close the death factories and accelerate an anti-speciesist revolution. Maybe the shock of COVID-19 will help persuade free-market fundamentalists that all people have a fundamental right to basic income, homes and healthcare. I’d love to believe that humans will “turn mindfulness, gratitude, hope and a sense of solidarity into sustainable practices”, as you suggest. But unless we combine dietary, political and socio-economic reform with remediation of our sinister source code, the well-being of all sentience remains a utopian dream. Depravity is hardwired into our DNA – a lot of it, at any rate. The worst of “human nature” must be genetically cured.
IM:To establish a global pandemic immunity for the novel coronavirus, our priorities are: 1. to keep people safe from getting the coronavirus through social distancing, 2. to figure out a way to contact-trace and test millions of people a day to know who can resume working, 3. to come up with treatments and vaccinations that can prevent coronavirus flare-ups, in particular third world countries, 4. to continue travel restrictions and global collaboration, 5. to improve our supply chain and infrastructure. Do you think this plan is aligned with the transhumanist goal of improving the human condition?
DP: Becoming transhuman will entail overcoming deeply-rooted ethnocentric and anthropocentric bias. COVID-19 has already triggered an upsurge in racism and xenophobia. Coronaviruses and future pathogens could be readily tamed with the aid of ubiquitous testing and tracking apps. But many people are (rightly) afraid that tracking measures introduced to tackle catastrophes like COVID-19 – biometric scanning, phone location data, credit-card information, security footage and so forth – will be used by authoritarian regimes to control rather than protect us.
IM: The success of a global plan to turn the economy around towards the sustainable implementation of a universal health care system that can successfully handle crisis depends not only on improving our own neural architecture but on re-defining our value system. Professor Stefan Lorenz Sorgner, also a distinguished philosopher of posthuman studies from Cabo University, Italy, whom I'm also interviewing in this issue of Immoralists Magazine (See: “The Future Of Digital Surveillance and Healthcare - A Conversation with World Leading Philosopher Stefan Lorenz Sorgner” APR-MAY 2020), makes a bold argument stating that when it comes to health and privacy, the problem isn’t about giving up privacy, but our understanding of what privacy means to us. He argues that people aren’t afraid of giving up privacy, but being sanctioned by the government. We soon realize that the fear isn’t the loss of privacy but the inability to live as one pleases. Stefan believes that the collection of digital data by means of total surveillance is needed and can be established through mutually beneficial contracts where citizens give access to their biometrics to governments in exchange for a free health care system that keeps everyone safe and healthy. He adds, "in order to collect all the relevant data, the data needs to be sold in between the companies or the companies and the government." Do you think that a decentralized, non-commercial, peer-to-peer system would be more effective, or could we instead establish a hybrid system that restricts government and companies access to people's biometrics?
DP: Let’s step back for a moment. Why exactly does privacy matter? The Borg has no concept of privacy. Many Christians believe that a benevolent and omniscient God is privy to their innermost thoughts and feelings. But we needn’t invoke science-fiction or theology. If mutually “loved up” on oxytocin-releasing euphoriant empathogens like MDMA (Ecstasy), people can forget about privacy and be honest with each other: oxytocin has been dubbed the “trust hormone”. More radically, the conjoined craniopagus twins Krista and Tatiana Hogan share a thalamic bridge. In a sense, they are distinct persons. But Krista and Tatiana can partially see though each other’s eyes and taste and feel what the other is experiencing. So in another sense, the twins can share a mind as well as a body. Maybe our transhuman successors will be able to “mind meld” via reversible thalamic bridges. If so, mind-melding technologies will inaugurate a revolution of true honesty – and (lack of) personal privacy – as understood by archaic Darwinian lifeforms. Science, morality and decision-theoretic rationality will be revolutionised too. By contrast, “normal” humans today are profoundly ignorant of each other. Moreover, most prefer to stay ignorant – and prefer others stay ignorant of them. For sure, humans want to feel loved, appreciated and respected. But we also want to prevent others from truly understanding us – as distinct from acknowledging our idealised public personae. Some of the reasons why contemporary humans want to preserve their privacy may be irrational – for example, embarrassment over bodies and their functions or a taste in porn. But the problem goes deeper. Social, personal and business life depends on a web of deceptions. If our dark, Darwinian minds practised “radical honesty”, then human society and personal relationships would collapse. Today, we have the justified suspicion that if other humans learned our secrets, they might exploit such knowledge to harm us.
Anyhow, to answer your question more directly: if adequate safeguards can be established, then everyone’s mental and physical health would be best served by allowing medical authorities to have full genetic and biometric data for all citizens, ideally from birth if not conception. Later this century, universal access to preimplantation genetic screening and counselling and CRISPR genome-editing should be available for all prospective parents. Centralised genetic knowledge-banks available to medical researchers would promote public health and benefit individuals and society alike.
However, the risks to personal freedom from sharing such knowledge are far-reaching. I will need to study Stefan Sorgner’s proposals properly before offering comment. But in my view, universal access to free healthcare, basic income and adequate housing shouldn’t depend on surrendering genetic privacy and other biometric details. Universal and unconditional access to healthcare, basic income and adequate housing is a precondition of any civilised society. One possible solution to the privacy dilemma may involve artificial intelligence. If implemented wisely, the practice of sharing intimate personal and biometric details with smart digital zombies won’t involve embarrassment or scope for human-style abuse. We’re already heading for a world of robo-carers, robo-nurses, robo-doctors and robo-surgeons: insentient robo-epidemiologists aren’t so different – not a Nanny State, but “Nanny AI”. But I believe this kind of AI option would need rolling out over decades. The devil is in the details.
IM: Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and his wife Priscilla Chan are planning to partner up with the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation to begin exploring possible COVID-19 treatments. It is known that the Zuckerberg-Chan Initiative is also on a mission to “eliminate all diseases within our children’s lifetime”. How are super longevity initiatives relevant to our quest to establish a universal health care system and happiness?
DP: Humanity needs a more ambitious conception of health – the kind of conception laid out in the founding constitution of the World Health Organization. I hope that we can indeed “eliminate all diseases within our children’s lifetime”. Yet even if all recognised genetic disorders and infections were eradicated, horrific suffering would persist in the world – all sorts of physical and mental pain. Under a regime of natural selection, a predisposition to suffering and discontent is genetically adaptive. So we wouldn’t really be healthy, just not sick. Our genomes need fixing. Hence the need for a biohappiness revolution – a civilised information-signalling system underpinned by gradients of intelligent bliss. Superlongevity? Only revolutionary medical breakthroughs can abolish death and aging. We don’t yet have the knowledge. Organs and bodies can be replaced, repaired and/or enhanced indefinitely with recognisable extensions of existing technologies; but the central nervous system is more challenging to re-engineer: I’m more pessimistic than some of my transhumanist colleagues about credible time-scales for eternally youthful mind-brains. Therefore we need a twin-track approach: SENS and Calico should work together with Alcor. Universal access to cryonics and cryothanasia could potentially make a transhumanist civilization available to all sentient beings – even the elderly and infirm for whom talk of posthuman paradise is apt to sound personally irrelevant. Hormonally, I’m one of Nature’s pessimists; but I think we are destined for a glorious “triple S” civilisation of superlongevity, superintelligence and superhappiness.
IM: How does transhumanism address issues of racism and injustice?
DP: The Transhumanist Declaration (1998, 2009) affirms our commitment to the well-being of all sentience.
This goal sounds impossibly utopian. Consider just one form of injustice, economic inequality. Traditional routes to a fairer world involve “winners” and “losers”. Zero-sum games are endemic to human society. Worse, the enforcement mechanisms of greater fairness often turn out to be as bad - or worse - than the injustices they attempt to remedy. Consider the fate of socialist experiments of twentieth-century history.
Transhuman society will be different. Information-based technology promises to erase traditional left-right distinctions by creating effectively unlimited abundance of anything that can be digitised – and that embraces almost everything. (Some transhumanists claim that everything can be digitised, but let’s postpone discussion of whether conscious minds are a classical phenomenon.) Digital information is egalitarian. Intellectual-property owners may blanch, but we can now take for granted that everyone can enjoy access to the world’s musical resources, electronic games, movies and computer software. This unfolding revolution will continue into an era of augmented reality and immersive VR. Most importantly, access to genetic information and mastery of our reward circuitry will soon be democratised. Code for the biological substrates of subjective well-being doesn’t need to be rationed any more than the source code of digital music needs to be rationed. We could all become hedonic trillionaires. Many of the world’s worst inequalities aren’t economic or socio-political, but biological-genetic: disparities of mood, motivation and hedonic range. Just consider who is better off: a rich, angst-ridden depressive or a poor, healthy hyperthymic? Transhumanism promises a civilisation based entirely on gradients of intelligent bliss. Potentially, everyone can be a hedonic “winner”.
Yet what about tackling injustice now?
In my view, universal basic income (UBI), decent housing and free healthcare shouldn’t be a political left-right issue, but a precondition of civilised society. Thus broadly libertarian transhumanists such as Zoltan Istvan support UBI no less than transhumanists in the left-liberal tradition. My own gut instincts have always favoured the underdog. But the neocortex is a more effective tool of cognition than the enteric nervous system. Rich and poor, black and white, human and nonhuman animals – we are all victims of our legacy wetware. Everyone will benefit when our Darwinian source code is fixed. Any prospective parent who believes that creating new life is ethically permissible should consider preimplantation genetic screening, counselling and (soon-to-be) professional gene-editing.
Defeating racism? This really demands a treatise, but here goes. From antiquity to the present, dominant groups have convinced themselves they are intellectually, morally and spiritually superior to stigmatised outsiders – and touted “objective” measures to prove it. The evolutionary roots of racial discrimination, bigotry and xenophobia run deep. Everything from cultural stereotypes to the institutional racism in our criminal justice systems and even transgenerational epigenetic inheritance (i.e. transmission of epigenetic information through the germline) mean that the effects of systemic racism will take generations to overcome. Our posthuman successors may find the differences between human ethnic groups akin to the differences that humans discern between different dogs or mice or beetles. Yes, there are differences between different breeds of dog and mouse – and beetle! But humans can recognise that these differences are trivial compared to what all dogs, mice and beetles have in common. Likewise posthuman superintelligence vis-à-vis archaic humans. Education harnessed to intelligence-amplification can help overcome racist prejudice and other cognitive deficits of perspective-taking ability. But creating empathetic superintelligence will be a monumental challenge.
IM: How can transhumanism positively affect policies that affect all sentient life?
DP: A “triple S” civilisation of superintelligence, superlongevity and superhappiness can benefit all sentient beings.
Everyone could benefit from “narrow” superintelligence on a neurochip; Neuralink is just a foretaste of tomorrow’s implantable brain-machine interfaces. Some doomsters fear a zombie coup from runaway software-based AGI; but all the benefits of “narrow” AGI can be incorporated within one’s own CNS. So transhumans will be supersapient and supersentient. Full-spectrum superintelligence will be us, not some fanciful zombie overlord. Transhumanism also offers a richer conception of intelligence than the narrow, “autistic” component of general intelligence measured by simple-minded IQ tests: enhanced social cognition, superior co-operative problem-solving skills, an expanding circle of compassion, and the tools to explore alien state-spaces of consciousness.
Yet who will live long enough to enjoy triple-S civilisation? Unless you’re a hydra, you and your loved ones suffer from the lethal hereditary disease we call “aging”. Rejuvenating interventions such as regular therapeutic blood exchange can potentially turn back the biological clock. “Cyborgisation” and synthetic body parts will increasingly enhance, repair and replace biological organs. But full-blown body-replacement is still decades away. Therefore we need not just medico-genetic advances, but also a medico-legal revolution: opt-out cryonics and opt-in cryothanasia for life-loving oldsters. At its best, transhumanism is all-inclusive.
Critically, the biohappiness revolution won’t be race- or species-specific. Transhumanists aspire to transcend ethnocentric and anthropocentric bias. Everyone can potentially benefit from genetically programmed well-being – a civilised signalling system to replace the dismal dial-settings of a Darwinian hedonic treadmill. There is a crying need for the World Health Organization to live up to its obligations as set out in its founding constitution. Good health should be the birthright of all sentient beings – or else they shouldn’t have been conceived in the first place. I’m personally gloomy about timescales for the abolitionist project. Centuries? Millennia? I don’t know. However, a hundred-year blueprint to eradicate suffering is technically feasible. The world’s last experience below hedonic zero will mark a major evolutionary transition in the development of life on Earth.
My own focus is the plight of nonhuman animals – humble minds as sentient and sapient as small children and worthy of equivalent care. Currently, the abuse of nonhumans by humans is systematic. Factory-farming and slaughterhouses are nastier than even the most virulent racism and child abuse. Ideally, moral argument alone would suffice: I’d implore everyone to adopt a cruelty-free vegan lifestyle. But transhumanists are hard-headed. We tend to favour technical solutions to ethical problems. Cultured meat and cultured animal products once belonged to science fiction. Yet over the next few decades, the cultured meat revolution will end the horrors of animal agriculture. The death factories will close. The surviving victims will be rehabilitated. Zoonotic plagues like COVID-19 spawned by animal abuse like will pass into history. And looking further ahead, what Darwin’s grandfather Erasmus called “the great slaughterhouse of Nature” can be civilised too. The biohappiness revolution can be extended to the rest of the living world via genome editing, cross-species fertility-regulation and synthetic gene drives. The entire tree of life is programmable. For sure, pilot studies in self-contained mini-biospheres will be prudent. But post-Darwinian ecosystems won’t resemble today’s snuff movie. Post-Darwinian ecosystems will be engines of bliss.
IM: What approach would you recommend for someone that intends to recalibrate their hedonic set-point and live "better than well" in a sustainable way in the current technological paradigm, before the democratization of gene-editing arrives, assuming that all the typical healthy habits (sleep, nutrition, exercise, meaningful social interactions) have been already maxed out?
DP: Most people today have not “maxed out” their genetic potential. Optimising sleep, nutrition and exercise is more often preached than practised. Yet what about depressive people who done everything right and still aren’t happy? Maybe they have also tried nutritional supplements (omega-3 fatty acids, S-Adenosyl-L-Methionine (SAMe), St John’s wort, etc) and worked their way through the officially sanctioned mood-brighteners – “antidepressants” such as the SRRIs, MAOIs, tricyclics, bupropion and so forth. Meditation, cognitive-behavioural therapy and other non-biological interventions hasn’t produced lasting relief. Nothing works. The set-point of their hedonic treadmill is too simply low.
It’s tragic. I’ve no easy answers to the hardest cases. One of the biggest challenges to pharmacological (as distinct from genetic) remediation and enhancement is that the neurotransmitter system most directly involved in hedonic tone is the opioid system. We are all born dysfunctional opioid addicts with cravings to fix. Alas, exogenous opioids have well-known pitfalls for users, their families and society at large. That said, there is still scope for creative psychopharmacology. For example, the “French” antidepressant tianeptine - a full mu and delta opioid receptor agonist – can be combined with a selective kappa opioid receptor antagonist. (Kappa agonists induce dysphoria.) Also, perhaps add the novel agent LIH383. LIH383 blocks the atypical “scavenger” opioid receptor ACKR3. Blockade of ACKR3 increases the availability of opioid peptides that can bind to classical CNS opioid receptors, thereby increasing their “natural” mood-brightening action. The negative-feedback mechanisms of the hedonic treadmill can be sabotaged. However, this kind of cocktail of creative psychopharmacology is best explored with the aid of a medical specialist. If all else fails, the modern equivalent of “wireheading” would work. Intracranial self-stimulation is not the transhumanist vision of paradise engineering: superintelligent life based on information-sensitive gradients of bliss. Wireheading is clearly a last resort. But no one should be forced to suffer: it’s unethical.Fortunately, future sentience will be blissful.

Sorry about the absence but I'm back in the saddle. The White Star arc continues.
The rest of the series can be found here
Shelia flipped through status screen after status screen monitoring her unit’s progress through the ship. Things were going smoothly. Captured crew and passengers were in the process of being separated and secured in separate cargo holds. Almost the entire ship had been secured. Only a few stubborn holdouts remained and they would be running out of air soon. She nodded in satisfaction.
She turned to T’sunk’al who was hunched over large pieces of paper on the deck of the bridge.
“So, T, how are you coming along?” She asked.
“Pretty much done. Just double-checking my work but I should be able to void-jump this baby pretty much any time.”
“Great,” she replied. “Sooner this thing falls off the map the better.” She paused and smiled. “Don’t rush it though.”
“Don’t worry,” T’sunk’al chuckled. “I have no desire to become one with the universe today.”
“Good.”
Rupert Glent had finally talked his wife out from under the table shortly before the blast doors to the restaurant slammed open with a “BANG”.
Multiple squads of humans, drax, and z’uush swept in shouting commands. Mustering all of his courage he stepped forward with his hands out in front of him.
“Listen, we are all reasonable-” he started before he was roughly shoved to the ground by Jak’kul’sha.
“Yeah, we are all reasonable,” Jak’kul’sha replied, “And you are going to reasonably pick your ass up and get over there with everyone else.”
“How much are they paying you?” Rupert asked still laying on the floor in front of his terrified family.
“Enough to not waste my time listening to your bullshit.”
“Whatever it is, I’ll double it.”
“Oh,” Bal’sur’kala laughed. “There are a whole lot of us. Gonna double everyone’s pay?”
“Yes! Yes. No problem.”
“Ok, well, doubling it isn’t going to cut it. You are going to have to at least triple it before we will even consider crossing the people in charge. This might come as a shock, but they aren’t terribly nice people.”
“Fine!”
“Ok,” Bal’sur’kala buzzed. “We are all getting paid over a million credits a piece. That’s fifteen million just for our squad… times eleven squads, most at least as big as ours,” he laughed as Rupert’s face fell. “Do you happen to have one-hundred and sixty-five million in your pocket?”
“You just did that in your head? Wow!” Mul’sha’kal gushed.
“It’s fuckin’ Brainiac. Course he did it in his fuckin’ head,” Jak’kul’sha grumbled. “Can you stop chirpin’ in his ear till we get these little piggies in the fuckin’ barn?”
“I’m… I’m sure we can work something-”
“I didn’t ask if we could work something out,” Bal’sur’kala said grinning at Mul’sha’kal, “I distinctly asked you whether or not you had one-hundred and sixty-five million credits currently in your possession.”
“Well, no...”
“Then shut the fuck up and get your ass in line,” Jak’kul’sha said in a buzzy growl. “And you two,” he barked at the two lovebirds on his team. “I don’t wanna hear either of you fuckin’ chirpin’ till we are done, got it? Not one fuckin’ peep.”
“Yes, boss.” they both said in unison.
“I’m not your… you know what,” Jak’kul’sha growled and buzzed, “nevermind. Click-holes shut. Eyes open, all of them.”
“Councilor!” Helena shouted as she tapped the bars of his cell again, “This is your last chance. Do you have a statement?”
“For fuck’s sake, Helena,” Roberts laughed. “Give it a rest for a minute.”
“It’s just that this porkie scum is going to go and get his head blown off by you animals without him ever admitting to all of the shit that he did.”
“Like you say, porkies gonna pork. Is it really that big of a surprise. Besides, for something like him to admit fault he would actually have to believe that he did something wrong. Bet he doesn’t feel anything close to that.”
“Come on, even scum like him has to know what he did. He started the fucking war!”
“That’s not entirely accurate,” Roberts chuckled. “Oh he certainly deserves what we are going to do to him for his role in things but there were other factors in play. You haven’t heard the intelligence briefings?”
“No...”
“Oh, remind me when we get to our ship and I’ll be sure to give you copies of all of their security briefings and deliberations before the war. I thought that was part of what was dropped. They are pretty funny. Director Axlea lost her shit and I mean completely lost it. She was a hoot!”
“Holy shit! You have those?” Helena gasped.
“Oh yeah, I made sure to grab them while I was in there.”
“Wait… you?...”
“Yeah, I am in fact the actual fuckstain who did the ‘hack’,” Roberts said as he grinned at her.
“You! Oh you asshole!” Helena exclaimed as she launched herself at Roberts. Roberts laughed as he defended himself and as they they wrestled and laughed their eyes met… and they kissed. It was quickly followed by another kiss and then another and another as they lost themselves in each other’s embrace… almost a little too much. They were well on the way to “making up for lost time” before they remembered that they had an audience.
“I love you, Paul,” Helena sighed as they stopped pawing each other and she rested her head on his chest. “I love you so fucking much.”
“I love you too, Helena,” Paul said as he gently stroked her hair as he held her.
They just sat there holding each other.
“This is so stupid,” Helena said as she hugged him tight. “I mean we have known each other for how long? A couple of weeks?”
“Not even that,” Paul said as he gently kissed her again.
“I mean, what are we going to do? I want you in my life, like really in my life, you know?”
“Yeah, I know. Me too.”
“But we can’t have that. I’ve tried to work out a way but I’d last about a week in the Republic if I was lucky and you… kill orders...”
“I know,” Paul said as he held her. “I know. I’ve tried too and I just can’t see.”
“Oh please,” Jessie’s voice said over the intercom.
“Jessie… Goddammit!” Roberts exclaimed in annoyance as he glared up at a surveillance camera in the corner. “Don’t you have a ship to monitor?”
“Oh, I am doing that but Bunny told me that you guys were up to something ‘odd’. I think it’s time I have ‘the talk’ with her… They grow up so fast...”
“I am perfectly aware of this ‘talk’ of which you are referencing and I have repeatedly asked you to stop anthropomorphizing me,” a snippy voice cut in. “I just decided that their activities were unusual enough to warrant informing you.”
“Oh Bunny, you don’t have to be embarrassed,” Jessie laughed, “I have a book to show you and everything...”
“The ‘book’ you are referring to is already in my memory. ‘Showing it to me’ is completely unnecessary.”
“Helena, meet Jessie, our hacker and her AI, Bunny,” Roberts said. “Oh, she is the one who saved your bacon, by the way… Oops. That isn’t a slur. It’s a legitimate figure of speech,” he laughed as she gave him a little shove.
“Thanks… I guess...” Helena said still unnerved by the eavesdropping Jessie.
“Excuse me Jessie but do you still want me to be saving this feed into your spank-bank folder?” Bunny asked.
“Bunny!” Jessie exclaimed happily, “That was definitely you giving me an attitude! Was that some genuine emotion there? (And I wasn’t saving it into my completely non-existent spank-bank I swear.)”
“Absolutely not,” Bunny responded sounding quite annoyed, “Sapience is beyond my abilities as we have covered… repeatedly… True sapience has never been verified on any artificial intelligence, ever. My actions are all well within the coding that you know very well you have added… freak... and yes she does have a spank-bank. You have an entire sub-folder Mr. Roberts.”
“That’s genuine irritation!” Jessie chirped with glee. “Can’t fool me!”
“Excuse me, I have a ship to monitor. Nice to meet you, Helena. Good-day… And good luck, I mean it.”
“Thanks. Um… Nice to meet you too, bye.” Helena said to Bunny with a little confusion. She had never encountered an AI that sounded so real before.
“A whole sub-folder, seriously?” Roberts asked.
“Wha? Pssh… No…” Jessie replied. “Who are you going to believe, some tin-can or a trusted comrade in arms? Wait. Don’t answer that,” she laughed.
“I assume you had some reason for popping in and killing the mood?”
“What? Oh yeah! You can totally be together.”
“How?” Helena asked completely forgetting the intrusion.
“Become weebs! Carry your little butts over to the Empire! Both the Federation and Terran humans are tolerated over there no problem. Seriously, Roberts, you didn’t think of that?”
“But I have work to do in the Federation,” Helena replied.
“Yeah, but do you have to do that work in the Federation in the Federation? We have hyperspatial relays, you know. If you simply have to be in the Federation then it couldn’t work… unless you knew someone who manufactured absolutely perfect identities like all the fucking time. I could give Roberts like a dozen of them at a go. I wouldn’t even charge his sorry ass even after he abandons us for some filthy porkie tramp.”
“But it’s still so risky,” Helena said both hopeful and uncertain.
“Hey, I do risk and Jessie does make a mean ID,” Paul said as he held her in his arms.
“Oh, shit. I gotta go,” Jessie babbled, “later.”
A few moments pass and then Shelia’s voice issues from the intercom.
“Roberts, I’m sending a squad to relieve you,” Shelia said, “As soon as they show up carry your ass over to Bruce’s Emporium.”
“I’m going too,” Helena said as she grabbed her camera.
Breathing heavily, Bruce locked the door to his office and looked over at Sarah, his partner.
“You ok?” He asked.
“Yeah, mostly.” Sarah said as she clutched her side, blood seeping from between her fingers. “It isn’t too deep, I think.”
They were the only ones that made it. Terrence got blind-sided when the kids turned on them and George got tackled as they tried to run.
Where did Kiera get a knife? He opened his desk and pulled out a blaster pistol. He could hear them scratching at the door and rattling the latch. How could this be happening? This was the Federation. This was the White Star. Things like this just didn’t happen in places like this. Things like this didn’t happen to people like them.
“What are we going to do?” Sarah asked Bruce as she looked at the door nervously.
“I’m not sure,” Bruce replied. He walked over to a wall safe and opened it grabbing some data crystals. “One thing I do know is that we gotta get out of here,” he said as he activated the blaster. “Another thing I know is that we need to make sure that our kids can’t talk. Once they are dead what we’ve got on these,” he said as he gestured with the data crystals, “can get us out of any hot water once we manage to get off of this ship.”
“What about the pirates?”
“What about them? They might be Terran but they’re pirates and won’t give two shits about what we are doing. If we can talk to them maybe I can work something out. We got cash, a lot of it, maybe enough to buy our way out of this mess.”
“Yeah, let’s hope so,” Sarah said as her blood dripped onto the floor. “But first we gotta get out of here. You think you can shoot them all?”
“Where are they going to go?” Bruce laughed, “We are locked in. They have nowhere to run.” He walked over to the door and laid his hand on the latch. “Just stay here,” he said as he gave her a wicked smile, “This shouldn’t take long.”
He opened the door and before he could take one step out of the office an energy bolt hit him squarely in the chest knocking him to the floor. Sarah just stood there in shock as Roberts, holding a stun rifle, entered the room.
“Hello there,” Roberts said with a pleasant smile as he shot her. He then turned back to the doorway. “It’s clear!” he exclaimed.
Helena quickly appeared taking photo after photo. Roberts pocketed the data crystals and grabbed his phone.
“The Emporium is secure. We managed to save Bruce and one of his employees and have secured the captives,” he said into his phone.
“Good deal,” Shelia responded. “How are the captives?”
“Good. They have a few bumps and bruises from their attack on their captors but nothing requiring Eno’s attention. We might want him to check out the woman I just stunned. She got cut pretty deep and we don’t want her to die early.”
“Die early?” Helena asked in surprise.
“Hey, Eno,” Shelia said, “How busy are you? Can you go to the Emporium?”
“Yeah, things are stable back here,” Eno replied. “I’ve got everyone treated and stable.”
“How much damage are we looking at back there?” Shelia asked.
“Not bad. Better than we anticipated. Only one truly critical case and fortunately it’s a human so our nicer stuff worked. The idiot is safely on life-support on our ship.”
“Idiot?”
“Yeah,” Eno laughed, “You know those heroes that believe that combat armor ‘just slows them down’? Yeah, she found out that a blaster bolt to the lung slows you down even more than a chest-plate.”
“Christ,” Shelia chuckled, “Bet she wears her armor next time, if there is a next time. How’s the lung?”
“Gone, completely cooked. She’s gonna live but she’s going to be on a machine till they grow a new one for her.”
“Shit. Lucky for her we know a guy,” Shelia said, “Grab a squad and head over to the Emporium. Check out the captives too since you will be there anyway.”
“Got it, boss,” Eno said, “On my way.”
“Roberts, Gloria is tied up for a little while. The last holdouts finally ran out of air canisters and have decided to be stupid.”
“Gloria?!?” Helena hissed angrily.
“Yes, Gloria,” Shelia laughed. “We have something special planned for Bruce and his friend. Gloria is the one who handles those details for us.”
“And she’s been looking forward to this for days,” Roberts added.
“Hold the fort there until Gloria shows,” Shelia said, “After that you and Helena head to the docking bay until things are secure.”
“Got it,” Roberts said as the communication was ended.
“What is Gloria going to do to these people?” Helena asked.
“Sometimes we’ve decided that simply killing someone isn’t enough,” Roberts replied calmly, “When that becomes the case Gloria is the one who usually handles the details for us. She can be...”
“I fucking know what she can be!”
“She can be a lot worse,” Roberts replied, “We decided that Bruce and any of his associates needed to die and die badly. Gloria will handle the ‘badly’ part.”
Helena was at a loss. She wanted to disapprove but she had just made her way through a room full of sex slaves, some of them children. She had seen the bruises, the limps, the scars… These people needed to be punished and not by spending a few years in a cushy Federation prison.
They needed to suffer. But was this right? It wasn’t. I mean it shouldn’t be. Paul had just told her that Bruce and this woman were about to be tortured to death. There would be no trial, no due process. She should object. This went against just about every value she held dear.
But then she looked back at a young girl wearing only a t-shirt and panties peeking around the open doorway and she felt nothing but anger and hatred towards Bruce and his friend. There would be no wiggling out of their fate. There would be no pay off or cover-up or blackmail. No. They were going to face… justice? No. Not justice. Then again, they didn’t deserve that. They were going to get exactly what they had coming. They weren’t going to face justice. They were going to face injustice.
No. No no no no. What Paul and his crew were about to do was wrong. This isn’t how civilized people did things. In anger she had often wished “bad things” to happen to scum like the people on this ship but the reality of it…
Her whole life right was right and wrong was wrong. It’s what drove her into journalism in the first place. Now, she just wasn’t sure what was “right”. If they did things “right” and turned these scumbags in they would likely never see trial, her story would be buried, and they would be free to set up shop again once things blew over. As fucked up as “wrong” was, their evil stops today.
Did they, did Paul, actually have a point? She really didn’t want to believe so. They were going to do with a knife what could never be accomplished otherwise. Shit. This was so fucked up. She found herself wondering what other evil they had stopped and didn’t like that one bit.
The young girl timidly walked over and hugged Helena. Helena looked down at her as she hugged her back. Whether it was right or wrong was still something that Helena couldn’t work out but one thing was clear.
“It’s ok,” Helena said, “You are safe and they will never hurt you or anyone else ever again.”
“Excellent! Good work!” Shelia exclaimed happily as she received the latest reports. She then switched on the PA system.
Attention. The ship is now secure. Repeat. The ship is now secure. Start security watch shift one. All other squads report to docking bay.
“Ok, T’sunk’al,” Shelia said with a smile, “Everything is buttoned down. Ready to go?”
“Absolutely,” T’sunk’al said as he took a straight edge and drew a line down from an intersection of three curves on a large sheet of paper to the x-axis of the graph. He then headed over to the navigation console.
“Jessie, is Bunny in control of their jump-drive?” he asked into an intercom.
“You know it,” Jessie chirped. “We’re just waiting on the numbers.”
“I’m entering them now.”
“Bunny has the data and is feeding it into the drives. Capacitor banks are already charged. Spinning up the drive now. We will be ready to jump in ten minutes.”
“Sweet!” Shelia exclaimed with a grin. “It was a little rough there for a minute but looks like everything is finally going according to plan.”
Helena was sitting with the Terran sex slaves when the door opened and Gloria walked in pushing a large cart piled with planks, ropes, and other assorted materials.
“Hello,” Gloria said in a monotone voice. “I am pleased to see that you didn’t die.”
Helena said nothing. She just glared at Gloria with a mixture of rage and hate. Gloria turned to Roberts.
“Are we good, killer?”
“No. No we aren’t. Just stay out of our way.”
Gloria showed no emotion. “Fair enough,” she said. “So where are my toys?”
“This way,” Roberts said icily. Gloria turned her empty soulless eyes towards the room. Helena shrank back. It was the first time she saw them. She had never seen eyes like those, ever.
“Why don’t you two take the Terrans out of here? It’s about to get… unpleasant,” she said to Helena.
“I’ll call for someone to meet you outside,” Roberts said calmly. “You should really go.”
“No,” Helena said, “I need to see this.”
“Fair enough,” Gloria said. “If it bleeds it leads, right?”
“It’s not like that. I… we… need to know, that’s all.”
“Cool. We will send some people to get the Terrans. I’ll wait until they are gone,” Gloria said in an empty hollow voice.
“Helena,” Roberts said carefully, “are you sure? This is going to be bad, really bad. I’m not sure what she has in mind but I am sure it’s going to be fucked up.”
“If I’m going to cover this then I’m going to cover all of this. People need to know exactly what happened.”
Gloria just shrugged, opened up a tool bag, and pulled out a cordless drill and saw…
“Oh Jesus...” Helena gasped.
Attention all teams and passengers… Prepare for jump
There was the familiar “tingle” of entering hyperspace but, no lurch, no groan, no shudder. It was a near flawless entry.
“Shit, T,” Shelia grinned, “I knew we paid you for a reason.”
“That was a rather nice one if I do say so myself,” T’sunk’al buzzed happily. “That nice smooth entry into hyperspace doesn’t guarantee a nice smooth exit, however.”
“Still, I will call it a win. How long are we going to be in hyperspace?”
“I wanted to put us firmly into interstellar space with at least a parsec between us and any star. To get that we will be in hyperspace for… still getting used to your time units,” he said as he typed away on a z’uush calculator, “thirteen hours twenty seven minutes.”
“Great. Time for some looting!” Shelia jumped out of the command chair. “Jessie!”
“Boss?”
“Switch all command functions over to the Tiger and lock down the bridge.” She turned to T’sunk’al.
“C’mon, let’s go shopping!”
After a short briefing and scheduling of the watch shifts Shelia and T’sunk’al walked onto the promenade for a little light “shopping.”
“SHELIA!” a huge voice boomed as an even bigger drax approached.
“Volshugna!” Shelia yelled as she strode up and gave him a hug.
“Does your dishonor have no limits? Is there any depth to which you will not stoop?”
“Volshy, you know there is nothing I hate more than a fair fight,” Shelia laughed as they traded blows upon the shoulders. She looked at the only slightly smaller drax accompanying him. “That guy is almost as ugly as you are. There is no way that can be a coincidence.”
“You are correct, dishonorable one,” Volshugna said with pride. “This is my cub, Kash. This is his first hunt!”
“I am not your cub anymore, father. I am of age now.”
“Kash, you will be my cub until you make me stop calling you that just as I was my father’s cub until I made him release the title,” Volshugna laughed. “You will need a few more years and a few more hunts, just like I did.”
Kash shifted in embarrassment. Volshugna just roared with laughter and put him in an affectionate (for a drax) headlock. Kash hissed and bit him in the side which just made Volshugna laugh even harder as he released him.
“He fights dirty!” Shelia chuckled, “I like that.”
“He is disappointed with you.”
“Oh really?”
“He had his heart set on getting his hands on a human skull but your devotion to Terran dirty tricks deprived him of a kill.”
“Hmm...” Shelia said with a smile, “Don’t give up hope yet, Kash baby. We may be able to set you up with something.”
“Don’t tease the boy, Shelia.”
“I’m not teasing. The job isn’t over till we get away clean and divvy up the spoils. Plenty can still happen and if anything does I will try to get Kashie here in the mix.”
“You are a good woman, Shelia!” Volshugna roared as he batted her shoulder.
“Goddammit, I’m going to need that arm,” Shelia laughed.
A few hours later, Logan grabbed a bottle from behind the bar of the restaurant where Shelia and some of her crew were having a nice meal and plopped down beside her.
“Can I buy you a drink?” he laughed as he poured both of them a shot.
“You know I don’t drink on a job, sweetie,” Shelia responded as she cut into her steak.
“Oh, come on, we got this one in the bag,” Logan said as he poured himself a shot.
“It isn’t in the bag until it’s in the bag. If you are serious about stepping up your game you should start thinking like that, you know.”
“Meh, I’ll start thinking like that on the next job,” he laughed as he knocked back the shot. He looked over at her with a smile, “So, what’s the plan?”
“Well,” Shelia said as she took a drink of water, “We will be in hyperspace for another eight hours and then once we pop into real space we will get down to business.”
“What do you mean, ‘business’.”
“First off we set up some cameras and execute Councilor Morgan. I want to do that right. Only get to do that one once you know,” Shelia laughed. “Then, we start really going to work on the ship. We will loot the casino, shake down the passengers, check for any good solid Terran bounties, and shit like that.”
“Shit like the bank?” Logan asked grinning.
“Yeah, like the bank. Rumor has it that there is shit in those safety deposit boxes that will blow your mind. They also say that there are some larger storage areas as well. We are going to find some really nice shit.”
“What about the numbered accounts?” Logan asked as he poured another drink for himself.
Shelia just narrowed her eyes at him.
“Yeah, we will probably try to grab them but we don’t expect much out of it. You could spend years trying to grind at that encryption and still not get shit. We might try to ransom them or we might just toss them out the airlock. Can you imagine the screams and wails when they realize that all those credits are just gone forever,” Shelia laughed.
“But don’t you have that super-hacker?”
“Even the almighty Jessie is human, Logan. The encryption on those accounts is heavy. Seriously, those things are airtight. Complete waste of time. Don’t worry. There will still be plenty of credits to split up. I don’t want to promise what I can’t deliver but it’s no secret that we are going to be very generous with the bonuses. You be a good little boy and you will come away from this very happy. I promise.” Shelia said with a warm smile. “So, did you and your crew enjoy the little shopping spree?”
“Oh yeah,” Logan grinned. “We even played nice with the other crews and everything.”
“Good to hear,” Shelia smiled. “I was hoping we wouldn’t have a repeat of… previous issues.”
“I put my foot down hard,” Logan laughed. “See? I can do that.”
“Good to hear. Maybe you will become a proper pirate captain yet.”
“So,” Logan asked, “what are all those cockroaches doing over at that one place?”
“Those z’uush have been lead by T’sunk’al to a very nice chocolatier and introduced to the wonders of chocolate. Z’uush absolutely love chocolate.”
“Huh, learn something new every day...”
At another small restaurant Roberts emerged from the kitchen bearing a platter of sandwiches.
“Not the usual fine dining experience, I’m afraid,” he said to Helena as he placed the platter down between them.
“That’s ok,” she said. “I don’t think I’m going to have an appetite for quite awhile.”
“Yeah. I did try to warn you.”
“I know. I thought I was prepared but fuck...”
“On the bright side it could have been a lot more graphic. She actually almost fully skinned someone alive once. Too bad for Bruce that she wasn’t feeling that merciful this time.”
“Merciful?!”
“Compared to crucifixion? Absolutely. Bruce and his friend would be dead already if she skinned them. They are going to suffer for quite awhile. It’s why crucifixion is Gloria’s favorite when she has the time and materials.”
“Why the fuck do you have a monster like her on your crew?”
“Because we can use a monster like her on our crew,” Roberts said calmly. “We aren’t a traveling gospel choir. We sometimes do fucked up things and that sometimes requires fucked up people. She isn’t like this normally. Something went really wrong with her this time. Fuck. This whole job is been going really wrong from the beginning. If I could have pulled the plug on this one I would have.”
“What the fuck is wrong with her?”
“Oh so many things… You know,” Roberts said as he chewed thoughtfully, “You should ask her yourself.”
“Fucking what!?!?”
“Seriously, you want to get the whole story? Interview her.”
“I’m not getting anywhere near that psycho. She fucking tried to kill me!”
“And she won’t try it again.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because she’s ‘normal’ at the moment, in full control.”
“This is normal?!”
“Yes. Right now she is just a machine as strange as that sounds. That craziness where she tried to kill you? Whatever that was is gone. Right now she is basically a walking AI and she has been ordered not to touch you, so she won’t. I truly hate her guts at the moment but I have complete faith that she is for lack of a better word, safe.”
“Only if you are there and have one of your fucking machine guns pointed at her fucking head.”
“Oh, I’ll be there and armed but I won’t point it at her. It would be too much temptation. It’s a damn good thing I’m leaving because I don’t think I can ever look at her again without wanting to kill her.”
“Well that makes two of us,” Helena said as she took a nibble of a sandwich. “The difference is that you can… You can, right?”
“Effortlessly,” Roberts said as he finished off his sandwich. “To be honest, it’s taking a lot not to just go ahead and do it anyway. I really want her dead for what she did.”
“Me too... Um, Paul?”
“Yes?”
“How long will it take for them to die?”
“Everybody’s different but it will take awhile. Gloria did it so it would take as long as possible but I’m pretty sure they will get ‘mercy’ in the end. Shelia had them fitted with vitals monitors.”
“Why?”
“Odds are because she has some questions for them, probably concerning how they got the Terrans. She will let things go for awhile and then show up with two syringes for each of them. One will be euthanasia and the other will be something to help keep them alive for even longer. Then she will question them and if they cooperate she will then administer euthanasia.”
“If they don’t cooperate?”
“Then she will give them the meds that will keep them alive for even longer. She may even have Eno treat them to extend things even further. Then she will ask again. If they still don’t talk, then she might have them taken down, allow them to recuperate a little, then put them back up again. Repeat until they break. If it takes too long there are some drugs they can add to the mix. They’ll talk. Gloria’s a monster but she’s nothing compared to Shelia. If Shelia wants them to talk they will talk. It’s said that Shelia can make even a Collective warrior scream and beg for mercy.”
“Fuck! I know they are scum but damn...”
“Hey, these watches actually fit!” Jak’kul’sha said happily as his team was picking through the remains of a jewelry store.
“And these little round things are delicious!” Mul’sha’kal said happily as she pulled another large pearl off of a necklace.
“I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to eat those,” Bal’sur’kala chuckled as he selected an expensive watch.
“What? Are they poisonous or something?”
“Let me check,” Bal’sur’kala said as he pulled out his tablet, “Hmm… Those are called ‘pearls’ and they are made of something called nacre, a secretion made by something called an ‘oyster’, a creature from Terra. They are actually quite valuable. Looking at this there is nothing in there harmful to us. You are gobbling up thousands of credits but aside from that it’s all good.”
“Well then I’ll just be sure to savor them then. Here, try one,” she said as she handed Bal’sur’kala one from the strand.
“You’re right. They are quite tasty!”
“Too bad we won’t be able to get more of these,” Mul’sha’kal said as she started handing them out to her team.
“Oh we will.” Bal’sur’kala said with a happy click. “Oysters make the inner layer of their whole shell out of this stuff. I’m willing to bet we will be able to get our manipulators on plenty of it cheaply. According to this only these little round accretions are valuable. The shells themselves are not expensive at all.”
“So maybe we should stop eating thousands of fuckin’ credits then,” Jak’kul’sha laughed as he popped a pearl into his mouth. “At the very least wait ‘till some of the porkies can see us do it. Bet that would be funny as fuck.”
“Hopefully one of the passengers is wearing some of these and we can just take them off of their neck and eat them right in front of them. That would be hilarious!” Salz’rash laughed.
Mul’sha’kal chuckled as she started hooking several gold chains together. “Yeah, we just gotta do that… There!” she said as she hooked the chains to both ends of a jeweled necklace and slid it around where her head connected to her carapace. “How does that look?”
“Looks sharp!” Bal’sur’kala said with a wiggle of his eyestalks.
“Hey, you’re a glittershell,” Jak’kul’sha said to Bal’sur’kala, “How do you guys have those jewels on your shells like you do?”
“Oh you use adhesive for the cheaper stuff and the good stuff they install little threaded mounts right into the carapace where the jewelry screws in. I think a good adhesive is better than the posts and I can whip up the right stuff easy.”
“Great!” Jak’kul’sha said as he smashed open a display case and pulled out a massive jeweled pendant. “I always wanted something like this! Look at it. What a lovely specimen!”
“Hey guys, after this let’s head over to one of the clothing stores,” Ray’shel’zun said as he grabbed a handful of diamond rings, “I would love to find a nice cape or something.”
“I’m pretty sure that they don’t have z’uush capes in stock,” Bal’sur’kala laughed, “and you might want to reconsider those rings. Diamonds are worth a lot less in the Republic and the Empire.”
“Use your imagination. If humans have something that fits the top part of their body it would be close. A tailor should be able to change it to suit me. I’ll just grab a few. You know the fabric will be high-credit. As far as the rings go they are pretty and I like them. I’m keeping them. I’m going to cut the hoop here then crimp them around some of my fiddlers.”
“That’s actually a good idea,” Bal’sur’kala said thoughtfully, “Not sure how the humans do it but the real high-end z’uush shops just stock cloth and leather. They make everything to order. Not sure if a cruise-ship would have one of those but let’s go see.”
“Sounds good,” Jak’kul’sha said, “We need to leave some shit here for the other gangs anyhow. Besides, I would just love to get a nice bag or something. Maybe one of those, what do you they call them, purses I think?”
“I think purses are for females in Terran culture, dude.”
“Female humans maybe,” Jak’kul’sha said, “We all carry bags and I’ve always wanted a nice one.”
With a only a very slight groan, the White Star popped out of hyperspace.
“T, you are a fucking artist,” Shelia said as she swatted him on the back.
“Yes, I’m quite pleased with that jump provided we are anywhere close to where I intended. It’s going to take a little while to properly fix our position but at first glance we have the middle of fucking nowhere part of it right. Let’s just hope it’s the right middle of fucking nowhere.”
“Super. We will get that all hammered down after the execution,” Shelia said. “We have other matters to deal with now.”
“Right you are. Let’s get this over with.”
“Yeah,” Shelia said gravely. “Messy business but it has to be done.”
“So, how is going? Everything ready?” Shelia asked Helena as she walked into a conference room.
“Yes. Ready to go. I put a mark on the floor where the councilor should go.” Helena said grimly, “This is a lovely camera by the way.”
“Thanks. After we get the footage you can keep it.”
“Really? Wow! Thanks!”
Logan and his whole crew walked in. Shelia turned to them with a smile.
“Came to watch the show?” Shelia asked.
“Yeah, wouldn’t miss it. Not every day that a Federation councilor gets gunned down.”
“Cool, it won’t be long now. Ah, here he is, the man of the hour!” Shelia said with a grin as Councilor Morgan was drug into the room by Roberts and Jacob.
“You… You can’t do this!” Councilor Morgan shouted
“Actually we can,” Shelia said with a smile. “See that little piece of tape on the floor? Drag him over there,” she said to her men.
“Please! Let’s be reasonable about this!” Councilor Morgan plead as he was put in position.
“As reasonable as you were when you set up Red Sunday?”
“L-look… It was a mistake, ok. I made a mistake. We made a mistake. There is no reason to-”
“Oh there are plenty of reasons,” Shelia said. “One reason that your attack and your death have in common is money.”
“Money?”
“Views, sweetie,” Shelia said with a smile as she softly stroked his face, “We are going to post this on a pirate server and millions of people are going to line up and pay to watch your brains get blown all over a wall, that wall to be specific. You are going to star in your very own snuff film.”
“I’m a Federation councilor!” Councilor Morgan screamed. “They will hunt you down. There will be no place you can hide!”
“Oh they are already hunting for us. What are they going to do, kill us twice?” Shelia laughed and then turned to Helena.
“Ready to go?”
“Yes,” Helena said gravely from behind a tripod mounted camera, “as ready as I am going to be.”
“Right,” Shelia said with a smile, “Let’s get started then. Councilor Morgan, you have been found responsible for playing a major part in the false allegations against the Terran Republic, the corrupt decision to launch a surprise attack that killed many innocent Terrans, and the resulting war that resulted in the deaths of millions of innocent civilians on both sides. Your actions were made-”
“That’s not true! You are lying!!” Councilor Morgan shouted over her.
“We have proof,” Shelia said, “That proof will be attached to the footage when it is posted so everyone can read it and make their own decision. Before you ask we got the proof when we hacked the Federation servers. We got everything, councilor. You can shout and scream all you want but the files we attach will make our case.”
“It’s a lie, people they are telling lies!! The files are falsified! This is all-” He was cut short by Shelia walking over and backhanding him knocking him to the ground.
“I was going to read my statement before I killed you but since you keep interrupting I’ll just kill you first and then read my statement.”
“No! No, please… please...” Councilor Morgan was hauled to his feet, a wet stain appearing on his trousers.
“Ok, hold him right there.” Shelia said as she backed up a few feet and pulled out her sidearm. She then turned to the camera. “This pistol, here zoom in on this serial number please. Got it? Great. This pistol will be placed on e-buy for any interested collectors. Not sure when I will be able to post the auction but keep your eyes open for it.” She then turned to Councilor Morgan. “Good-bye, porkie.”
“I’m afraid I can’t let you do that,” Logan said as his entire crew leveled their weapons at Shelia and her team.
The rest of the series can be found here
I'm not going to leave you guys hanging for two weeks this time, promise.

Game Information

Game Title: Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age
Platforms: PlayStation 4, PC
Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdFgFABSkhQ
Publishers: Square Enix
Review Aggregator:
OpenCritic - 90
Metacritic - 88

Reviews

Attack of the Fanboy - Jelani James - 5 / 5 stars

Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age takes everything to love about classic JRPGs and refines them to their utmost. The result? Absolute brilliance. If you had to pick just one JRPG to own on a modern platform, then let it this be the one.

COGconnected - James Paley - 80 / 100

Whether you're a lifelong fan or new to the series, Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age is an easy recommendation.

Destructoid - Chris Carter - 8 / 10.0

Enix, and by proxy Square, have found myriad ways to repackage the journey of Dragon Quest and Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age proves that they haven't run out of ideas yet. It's one of the easier modern Dragon Quests to get into precisely because it gets back to basics. If you've been pining for an older-school character-focused RPG instead of the player-created party focus of IX and the MMO aspect of X, the wait has ended.

Digitally Downloaded - Matt Sainsbury - 5 / 5 stars

Dragon Quest XI is, from end to end, an iconic example of everything that Dragon Quest has stood for since way back in the 80's. It's charming and has a colourful energy that makes it very hard to put down.

DualShockers - Giuseppe Nelva - 9.5 / 10.0

If you have been missing the pure, genuine adventuring encouraged by the JRPGs of old, and you have been eager to see what the most traditional incarnation of the genre could achieve when paired with top-notch production values, this is most definitely the game for you.

EGM - Mollie L Patterson - 8.5 / 10.0

Dragon Quest XI brings the legendary Japanese RPG franchise to consoles (properly) for the first time in 13 years, and it's a mostly fantastic new chapter of the series. Its story, gameplay, characters, and visuals all work to blend timeless series elements with newer-era genre refinements, and most of the time, the results are great. Unfortunately, there are a few times when honoring tradition is a weakness, not a strength—most specifically in the case of the game's protagonist.

Eurogamer - Martin Robinson - No Recommendation

A sumptuous, generous and absolutely gorgeous RPG that isn't quite the measure of Dragon Quest's illustrious past.

Game Informer - Kimberley Wallace - 8.3 / 10.0

This isn't a shake up for the series and can sometimes feel dated, but the long, hard-fought adventure comes together in an engaging way

Game Revolution - Jason Faulkner - 4.5 / 5 stars

However, for those who have fallen in love with the genre, and grew up adoring Dragon Quest, Final Fantasy, and others, this game is the ultimate expression of the traditional JRPG.

Gameblog - Rudy Jean-François - French - 7 / 10

I have a weird love-hate relationship with Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age. At times, its nostalgic, its nicely written story and its unique design just blows me away but at other times, I simply hate its poorly designed interfaced, its lack of innovation and the simple fact that it never dares to try anything new. When it does something, it does it perfectly, but it simply doesn't feel enough in 2017. It plays it way too safe for its own good.

GamesBeat - Jason Wilson - 92 / 100

Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age moved me in ways a Japanese RPG hasn't done in years.

GameSpace - William Murphy - 9.5 / 10.0

If you've been waiting since DQVIII for a Dragon Quest title to hit your PlayStation, you'll be glad it's finally here. It may not do a lot to push the genre forward, but like the game's design so clearly sets out to do, Dragon Quest XI is an homage to the JRPG and its fans. It's an immense, addictive, and joyful experience from the first moment on. I cannot recommend it enough.

GameSpew - Kyle Bradford - 9 / 10.0

It is indeed one of the best games in a series of greats, and a JRPG that is without a doubt an instant classic. One I will undoubtedly cherish for many years to come.

GameSpot - Heidi Kemps - 9 / 10

Steeped in tradition and not afraid to show it, Dragon Quest XI reflects the best qualities of the series' past.

Gaming Nexus - Matt Mirkovich - 9.5 / 10.0

Dragon Quest XI is the perfect game to kick off the annual Fall glut of games, simply based on the merits of it being a massive sprawling JRPG that could easily carry you into the Winter months if you want it to. There's so much to do and it's so easily to get lost for hours just exploring the world trying to find the right materials to craft some better gear, or to finish up that side-quest that you picked up in Puerto Valor, or maybe the casino is more your style? Dragon Quest XI is easily one of the best JRPGs this generation, and it would be a shame if you missed it.

GamingBolt - Shubhankar Parijat - 9 / 10.0

Dragon Quest XI is a stellar game that displays a great command of the ins and outs of its genre the way few other games can and do. What it lacks in originality, it more than makes up for with its confident execution of ideas, showing that a game doesn't need to be revolutionary or the freshest thing on the block to be an incredible experience. With a memorable cast of characters, a well-told, briskly paced story, stunning and vibrant visuals, and a beautiful and extremely varied world as its setting, Dragon Quest XI serves as yet another excellent instalment in this amazingly consistent franchise.

GamingTrend - Nathan Anstadt - 85 / 100

Dragon Quest XI is a big game with lots to see and do, and you won't breeze through the game in a weekend. If you are willing to put in the time and see it to the end, though, the game is highly rewarding as a JRPG with a surprising amount of depth. Some of its larger story moments are enjoyable in their own right even if they can be derivative or are mere shadows of specific moments from classics of the genre, but while the game may not reinvent the JRPG, I had a blast making my way across Erdrea.

GearNuke - Khurram Imtiaz - 10 / 10.0

Dragon Quest series hit its peak with Dragon Quest XI offering one of the most engaging stories in a JRPG full of unforgettable characters and a turn-based combat system that can tailor to your experience. This is a classic JRPG that is worthy of being considered one of the best games released this generation.

Hardcore Gamer - Adam Beck - 4 / 5.0

It may have been a long wait, but it was well worth it.

Hobby Consolas - Martín Amechazurra Falagán - Spanish - 95 / 100

Dragon Quest XI Echoes of an Elusive Age is as much of an homage to the older Dragon Quest titles as it is a new step foward for the series. With a great story, a superb set of characters and loads of content to discover, Dragon Quest XI is one of the best JRPG to come out in recent years

IGN - James Paley - 8.8 / 10.0

Dragon Quest XI excels when it emphasizes fighting bad guys, exploring dungeons, and finding treasure. It’s a visual feast populated by a cast of colorful monsters more engrossing than its main characters. Uneven story beats and some icky bits sometimes slow Dragon Quest down, but superb mechanics remain the focus, making Echoes of an Elusive Age a top-tier JRPG for the modern age.

IGN Italy - Marco Esposto - Italian - 9.2 / 10.0

Dragon Quest XI is simply the best Dragon Quest of all time. A classic old school rpg, with all the best things taken from over 30 years of JRPG.

IGN Spain - José Cabrera - Spanish - 8 / 10.0

Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age is not a perfect game but it is a perfect Dragon Quest. Full of winks dedicated to his most loyal followers, but also thought for the good grade to new generations.

Just Push Start - Mark Fajardo - 4.75 / 5.0

Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age is a phenomenal game that JRPG fans will want to play. The brief break gave Dragon Quest XI a chance to improve a number of things and that certainly paid off. The storyline is interesting and engaging, something that will suck players in and hold their attention until the very end. And, outside of the main story, there is a wide variety of things for players to do. Needless to say, if you feel like recent JRPGs have been lacking, then you'll probably enjoy Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age.

JVL - Julius007 - French - 17 / 20

DQ XI is classic in its shape,despite some additions and new features, but the game managed to surprise us in a beautiful way due to its scenario. Epic and surprising for the series, he will affect palyers looking for a very good JRPG with texts translated into french. We would have liked to have a better technique especially for the score. But its richness, its characters are also here to give us a nice adventure. And it's seems obvious that all the fans have to buy the game.

Kotaku - Tim Rogers - No Verdict

In conclusion, everything I have said about Dragon Quest XI being one of the best games of all time is definitely correct, because I played the game in Japanese for 300 hours. I wouldn't have done that if it weren't a masterpiece.

MonsterVine - Spencer Legacy - 5 / 5.0

Dragon Quest XI is one of the best games ever made. From its deep gameplay and charming characters to its gorgeous visuals and stunning music, Echoes of an Elusive Age is a game that no one should miss out on.

PlayStation LifeStyle - Lucas White - 9 / 10.0

I have my issues with Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age. It's a bit clunky when it tries to pretend it's cool like other video games. I wish I had vocations instead of skill points to play with, and it would be nice if I could get from point A to B a bit faster, or have more to do along the way. But at the same time, I found myself engrossed in the usual grind I've come to love over the years, the silly and fantastical creatures from my favorite artist, and the storytelling that met and even rattled my expectations. There's even a neat little crafting system I didn't have room to mention, secrets to find, and of course hours and hours of post-game content. If you want to go on an adventure, and I mean a real adventure that tugs on your heartstrings, makes you smile, and yells puns at you constantly, do not sleep on Dragon Quest XI.

PlayStation Universe - Garri Bagdasarov - 10 / 10.0

An incredible achievement, and even after 150 hours in we didn't want it to end. From an emotional story, simple yet engaging combat, and gorgeous visuals. Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age is simply remarkable and shouldn't be missed.

Polygon - Jeffrey Parkin - No Verdict

Dragon Quest 11 is a beautiful example of what a JRPG can be after 30 years of lovingly guided evolution. Its success is irrevocably tethered to those decades of development, though, and that means you probably already know if this is a game for you. If you're not already one of the faithful, Dragon Quest 11 is unlikely to make you a convert.

RPG Fan - Rob Rogan - 95%

DQXI is a fantastically fun romp through a gorgeous world that delivers on its promise of an epic, if conventional, JRPG adventure.

RPG Site - Elizabeth Henges - 10 / 10

Dragon Quest XI not only manages to be the best game in Square-Enix's iconic series, but is one of the best JRPGs to be released in recent years.

Spaziogames - Gianluca Arena - Italian - 8 / 10.0

Dragon Quest XI is the best looking in the long running franchise, and at its core, while unchanged, remains solid and funny. Still, we would like to see some major changes and improvements in the next installment.

TheSixthAxis - Dominic Leighton - 8 / 10

While Dragon Quest XI: Echoes of an Elusive Age doesn't push the boundaries of RPG design in any new way, it is an enjoyable and refined return to the Dragon Quest franchise. Some might decry its lack of ambition, but for fans of the genre and the series, new experiences like this are few and far between.

Twinfinite - Hayes Madsen - 5 / 5.0

Dragon Quest XI is a high new benchmark for the series, and shows how a traditional JRPG can still be appealing for the modern age.

USgamer - Nadia Oxford - 5 / 5 stars

If you're a fan of Dragon Quest VIII, you'll find a lot to love about Dragon Quest XI. Its character-driven plot and skill system recall the series' breakout PlayStation 2 installment, though Dragon Quest XI's lively world and expressive monsters lend it a unique feeling and flavor. Some fans might feel let-down about Dragon Quest XI's lack of job system or other options that let you fine-tune every aspect of your party (what I wouldn't give to see Dragon Quest V's monster-friending system make a return), but if you're in the market for a turn-based RPG that feels nostalgic but doesn't force you to deal with old genre mechanics, you won't find a better quest.

Wccftech - Kai Powell - 8.9 / 10.0

Dragon Quest XI is an incredible example of how to take a classic series and modernize it with updated graphics and voice acting while still keeping what made the original so charming. If the story stayed strong all the way through, it would be my favorite in the series hands-down. Nevertheless, it's still in the top three Dragon Quests that I've ever played.

We Got This Covered - Todd Rigney - 4 / 5 stars

This isn't the end-all, be-all of JRPGs, but it's still a damn fine Dragon Quest game, not to mention a great introduction to the genre for newcomers. Think of it as JRPG comfort food and you'll have no trouble whatsoever.

Formatting provided by OpenCritic. (Will be updated as reviews come in.)